Four members of the Queerwell team write about their journeys and tools for survival
IMAGE BY KIRA YAN VIA CANVA
Queerwell, your community mental health charity, began in 2023 over a bowl of food and a shared dissatisfaction with the state of our community’s mental wellbeing. As a group of queer mental health professionals with lived experience of poor mental health, we knew that relying on our own and even our community’s lived and learned experience was not enough to change things alone. We needed to understand how society in 2026 views and responds to us.
Our recent global report uncovered several stories about cause, barriers to treatment and discrimination. Still, one remains consistently under-examined: how women’s mental health is often pathologised or overlooked within and outside the LGBTQIA+ community. Here, four people from our team offer their journeys and tools for survival.
The silence between cultures – Sharmila Kar (she/her), trustee, Queerwell
Identifying poor mental health is harder when your culture lacks the language for it. Growing up in India, I had no usable or safe vocabulary for mental health; being a lesbian layered silence on top of silence.
In the UK, I learned how quickly we partition ourselves. At work, my sexuality was acceptable only if it stayed “neat”. In healthcare, disclosing it felt risky. Navigating support meant unlearning the idea that “generic” solutions— like mindfulness or talking to family — would work for someone queer, racialised and migration-impacted.
What truly helped were queer-affirming spaces led by those with lived migration experience, and therapy that acknowledged systems of power rather than just symptoms. To any immigrant lesbian struggling: your distress is not a personal failure. It is a response to living between worlds that refuse to fully hold you.
Visibility is a tool – Grainne (she/her), international coach for senior leaders
Queer women don’t lack talent. What I see consistently is talent that isn’t “landing” — it isn’t heard or placed where it should be. The question isn’t about missing skills, but about what builds real influence.
• Clarity of voice: Lead with your point. Say it early. Many capable women “soften the edges” to be inclusive, but the impact is that you get missed.
• Understanding power: Organisations run on relationships and judgment. If you don’t see how decisions are made, you will work hard and still be overlooked.
• Visibility: Quiet excellence is rarely enough. You need a community that backs you and opens doors.
Finding the euphoria – Robyn Newark (she/her), activist
I realised I was trans at age 35. Instead of relief, I felt terror. Having survived sexual abuse and a collapsing personal life, it felt like another blow that would make survival harder.
The years that followed involved a divorce and starting over, but time and conscious effort are healers. Today, if I use a label, I am a transgender lesbian. Despite a vast hate campaign designed to roll back our rights, the reality is that who I am is not actually “controversial”. I just want to be happy.
What got me through was focusing on gender euphoria. I found freedom in letting go of internalised heteronormative scripts and rediscovering intimacy. Transition gives us the unique gift of looking back at photos and journals to see exactly how far we’ve come, not just physically, but emotionally. Therapy was transformative in helping me stop feeling “broken” and start embracing myself.
Navigating rural life as a young lesbian – Lucy (she/her), Queerwell volunteer
As a queer woman living in Devon, I have found it challenging to navigate this part of my identity living in this rural area of the country. Social groups are few and far between, and there is almost no sense of community for queer individuals. It is therefore very difficult to meet like-minded people. We do exist, however, there seems to be a significant disconnect among queer people here.
There is a strong presence of online support for queer individuals. However, in-person interactions do not mirror this. I consider myself lucky that I have not experienced any direct discrimination towards myself or my partner in the South West. However, this is far from the truth for many others. Addressing these issues is vital to help tackle these inequities in queer support between urban and rural areas.
Join the Conversation
Attend Grainne’s workshop on 21 April 12:30-1:30pm or explore these themes further at our live discussion on women’s mental health with Sharmila, Grainne, and Robyn on 23 April 12:30-1:30pm. Both available at lesbianvisibilityweek.com.
Web: queerwell.org.uk | Instagram: @wearequeerwell
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