We ask, is Belinda Blumenthal a feminist icon?
BY CARRIE LYELL
Here at DIVA HQ, we’re big fans of My Dad Wrote A Porno, a smash-hit comedy podcast which has grabbed more than 100 million of us by the cervix.
The premise is simple: three friends – Jamie Morton, James Cooper and Alice Levine – sit around a kitchen table reading terrible erotica written by Jamie’s dad, a rather eccentric gentleman who goes by the nom de plume Rocky Flintstone. The results are hilarious – like, snorting at the self-service in Tesco, crying on the Circle line, embarrassing yourself silly hilarious – winning MDWAP a massive and dedicated following. As well as three series of the podcast, Jamie, James and Alice have also written a book, launched their own merch, and are about to embark on a massive tour which sees them play a little known venue called the Royal Albert Hall.
Rocky’s writing is as shocking as his understanding of the female anatomy, but at the centre of the Belinda Blinked saga is an accidental icon; a high-powered sales executive in the famously hedonistic world of pots and pans and a sex-positive feminist who has no need for labels and turns the male gaze on its head. But what can Belinda Blumenthal teach us mere mortals about feminism and sexuality? We had a chat with Porno co-host, writer and Radio 1 DJ Alice Levine to find out.
A FEMINIST ICON
“Belinda is a businesswoman in the pots and pans industry which, as we know, is a very sexy industry. She’s quite innovative. She’s dedicated, she’s very driven. A lot of people say she’s avant-garde. She’s not to everyone’s tastes, the way she operates in business [laughs]. We really don’t know anything about her. We don’t know where she comes from, we’ve never met any of her friends. We know a bit about [her father] Bobby Blumenthal. We know he likes his fine wines. She’s very independent and a lot of people have said she’s a bit of a feminist icon. She’s doing things by her rules and she’s deciding what she wants and she’s making it happen. She’s up there with the best of them.”
A ROLE MODEL
“Do I look up to Belinda? Well, look up to is a statement and a half, isn’t it? [Laughs] No. I wouldn’t say I look up to her. I know it’s hard to remember that this is a formed book, but it is supposed to be – and at the heart of that we’ve got a really strong female character. Now, that is really rare. Although she is a bit ridiculous and some of the stuff she’s done is downright ludicrous, that is quite exciting. And there are a lot of female leading ladies in it as well. She is batshit crazy but also I’m quite excited that she is the main event in it.”
TRASHING TROPES
“Rocky is skewing stuff and he is spinning it on its head… the whole stereotype about men being carnal and having these desires and being all about the physical, and women having all these emotions and being concerned after sex and placing loads of meaning on it… all of that stuff. Belinda’s always on to the next thing. She’s diarising in her head while she’s mid god-knows-what. She is not preoccupied with what are supposedly female concerns. I feel like in all traditional pornography, women are like, ‘But does he love me?’ Belinda is not worrying about that. She is penciling in something next Thursday.”
POTS AND PANSEXUAL?
“Rocky wouldn’t use the word pansexual because I feel like that’s quite contemporary and I wouldn’t think he knows about anything contemporary [laughs]. But then, actually, people’s sexuality isn’t defined or labeled. Everyone is pretty fluid, or at least not pigeonholed into binary categories. I wouldn’t like to label Belinda because I don’t think we really have that defined, do we? She’s attracted to men and women, that’s what we’ve learned so far. She loves sex, we know that. She’s pretty good at it, it’s believed. I don’t know how she would label herself but I think that’s quite interesting because it would have been quite easy to fall into some cliches there too, wouldn’t it?”
AN ACCIDENTAL ICON
“Obviously, I am cautious to call anything postmodern or even contemporary or even 19th century about Rocky’s writing! But I do think it is. Whether that’s because he’s trying hard or that just doesn’t come into his mind or I don’t know… I don’t know where it comes from but I think it is really refreshing.”
LIFE LESSONS
“Belinda does have an amazing time with her female lovers, but I don’t know what that says about sexuality, to be honest. I sometimes think the women in the book are more 3D than the men in terms of characterisation. So they are more interesting. I wouldn’t like to have to guess why she’s having the most fulfilling sexual encounters with women, but at least she’s having a lovely time.”
HOW TO WOO BELINDA
“Belinda’s work comes first. She is wed to the job, so just remember you’ll always be playing second fiddle to that… no pun intended. Her attention span is just terrible so you’re going to have to impress her pretty quickly. She’s also insatiable. She is at it at all hours of the day. I mean, she doesn’t stop. As we know, she doesn’t actually sleep. We presume she’s just running on a combustion engine of caffeine, business deals, and adrenaline. She likes to be in control… but sometimes she doesn’t. So don’t try to pigeonhole her. She does love to fly international so if you could arrange that for the first date. She’s quite status orientated. She likes powerful people. I mean… what am I saying? There’s no story, there’s no logic. I’m just making this up as I go along. I mean, I was almost convincing myself there for a second. Tomorrow she could be working in a florist or something, I really don’t know.”
This article first appeared in the April 2018 issue of DIVA – grab your digital copy right here!
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