Queerwell chat with Lucía Rodriguez Perez about the importance of bi+ spaces
BY CAITLIN NEWMAN, IMAGE PROVIDED
The end of summer doesn’t mean the end of queer celebration. September marks Bisexual Awareness Month, a period to reflect on the experiences of one of the largest yet most misunderstood queer communities. On 6 September, Queerwell will be hosting a bisexual+ community workshop in their new home in Soho. We reached out to Queerwell practitioner Lucía Rodriguez Perez to discuss the importance of commemorating this month and creating bi+ affirming spaces.
Why do you feel that this month is so important, and that we need to increase the focus on bisexual identities specifically?
I’m going to be extremely honest on this; I didn’t know that it existed at first. I’m bisexual; I’ve been bisexual for quite a few years now, over fifteen, and I think it’s important for the community – for bisexuals and for those outside of the community – to really have a time to enjoy themselves and get to know each other. Even though they’re one of the biggest communities within the LGBTQIA+ community, they don’t seem to be as strongly together. I feel quite isolated in the queer community and in the straight community. I think that, to me, Bi+ Pride is a moment to enjoy between people that I identify with.
What would you say are the main misconceptions and myths on bisexuality, both from outside and within the community?
One is that we f*ck everybody around or that we are promiscuous. Also, it’s a very binary attitude that there are only two genders, when there are three genders or more. I usually use sarcasm, or I will say no, it’s not true. I’m Spanish, and I have been living in London for fifteen years, so it depends on where I am in the world that I will reply, but definitely one is that we are promiscuous.
The second is that it’s a phase, and that I might be more into women than men, so therefore I should be calling myself lesbian, or if I’m more into men, I’m just in a straight relationship. We bisexuals don’t mingle and meet every December and run a kind of tick-box exercise, like, I have shagged three of this gender and three of that gender! I am still bisexual – I’m bisexual full stop. I have bisexual relationships independently of their gender. I don’t call them a lesbian relationship or a straight relationship. Even the water that I’m right now touching is bisexual, because I’m with it. The laptop we are currently using for this conversation is bisexual; anything that touches me is bisexual.
How would you suggest that allies – both straight allies and other members of the queer community – support the bisexual community to help tackle this biphobia?
Number one: listen to us if we verbalise our discomfort or if our face shows it. Listen to us, observe us, and how we react to a question that somebody might be asking us. Acknowledge that you made a mistake. It’s not your personality; it’s not your self. And carry on, understanding that the bisexual person might not want to continue the conversation, or they might want to.
I think the second thing that I will call on everybody to do is enable spaces for bisexual people. There are very few spaces. But I want those spaces to exist, to actually be able to go to a bisexual event. I remember going to this one, Buddhafield, which is a festival that happens in Somerset, and there were a few spaces for minorities. One of them was the Queer Space, and I remember strongly the year that it was run by a bisexual woman. She had so much about bisexuals, putting on a bi talk, a bi chat, a bi something. I remember that I was so deeply connected to that tent stage that I never left. I thought, wow, I have never seen such an amount of bi events, and it was all very natural. It was all about the bi community, how different we are, how big we are, that we are in all shapes, that there are very few stereotypes about us in appearance, so we’re kind of not easy to spot.
To wrap this up, I would love for you to tell us a bit more about your upcoming Queerwell workshop on bi+ identity. What will that look like?
The workshop is happening this Sunday in the early afternoon. It’s a time and space for bi+ affirmation. We will talk about what bisexuality is, what comes to mind, and understanding the myths. It’s quite conversational; it’s really at the pace that attendees want.
Want to discuss the bisexual+ experience further in a safe and welcoming environment? Join Lucía’s workshop on bisexual lives and identities at Queerwell’s Sunday Sanctuary on 6 September. Click here to find out more and to book your place.
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