Lez take a look at the dating lives of queer women and non-binary people
BY SOFIE ROOS, IMAGE BY DIVERSIFY LENS/CANVA
The modern dating world is fascinating. But what is it like for queer women and non-binary people? Let’s take a look at some interesting facts that shed some light on the realities of lesbian and sapphic dating.
For sapphics, love often begins with friendship
According to a 2022 article, as many as 85% of queer people said that their relationship began with friendship.This older study, found that friendship is the start of many lesbian relationships. It’s obvious that the line between being just friends and being something more is much thinner for sapphics!
Dating apps play a bigger role for queer women when dating
According to a 2023 article in Pew Research Center as many as 51% of American lesbian, gay and bisexual adults have at least once used a dating app, compared to 28% of straight people. It also shows that as many as 24% of queer people have met their partner online. While the research (unfortunately) doesn’t specify the exact sapphic number, it tells us that queer women are more likely than heterosexual women to look for love online.
Queer women aren’t exclusively looking for love or sex on the apps
A review of 21 studies published in 2022 found that dating apps serve more functions than just finding a sex or romantic partner for queer women. For some sapphics, dating apps are used just as much for finding new friends, building a community, or just to feel that there are others like you.
Sapphic dating can be pure detective work
The same research found that sapphic dating involves some detective work, because queer women tend to balance between visibility and privacy while dating. Sapphics want to say “Hey, I’m into women” to the right people, and at the same time. We can be careful about how much personal information we reveal. This means that sapphics have to invest more time into thinking, “Hmmm, is this person even into queer women?”.
Sofie Roos is a licensed sexologist and relationship therapist as well as author at the Swedish sex and relationship magazine Passionerad
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