Lesbian hairdresser and author Vicki Lord writes about how her salon chair turns into a confessional
IMAGE BY LORRAINE LUCAS WWW.MADHATTERSSTUDIO.CO.UK
My two favourite subjects? Hair and sex. How on earth do those mix into one conversation, you might ask? Well… here’s the journey.
For years, I suppressed my sexuality. I knew from a very young age that I loved women, but I didn’t quite have the language or the courage to own it. It all began when I started working at Oliver’s Hair Salon at the ripe, fresh age of 13. Oliver’s was a cool, trendy local salon filled with women rocking big perms, bold blue eyeshadow and spandex. I was a pubescent, easily influenced junior surrounded by confident, glamorous, fully trained stylists.
I couldn’t quite work out whether I wanted to be like them… or be with them.
Those feelings stayed with me for years. I continued building my hairdressing career and, at 20, had my first lesbian encounter with a sexy, masc bartender, a chapter that later made it into my book. It’s one that has had readers reassessing their own sexuality, laughing, blushing and occasionally needing a private moment to cool off by the pool… at least that’s what one reader divulged to me!
But how did I go from private experiences to publishing such an open and honest book?
Today, I’m out and proud, and nothing gives me more joy than offering fabulous hair styling as well as a safe, one-to-one space where women feel comfortable talking about everything from menopause and marriage to intimacy. The salon chair is far more than a place for highlights and blow-dries; it’s a confessional.
It’s not unusual for a client to whisper mid blow-dry: “Vicki sweetie, I’m really dry, what do I do?” Or lean in and say: “It’s my 80th birthday soon… and my orgasms won’t stop.”
Welcome to my world — where the tea is strong, the hair is fabulous, and the truth comes out faster than a fringe trim.
As hairdressers, we become therapists by default. Working one-to-one builds trust, and that trust opens doors to deeply personal conversations. I would often come home and relay these stories to my mum and my friend and mentor “Jordan Martin” (now my publisher) (check her out: odetostories.com). My mum would say, “Vicki, this is priceless. You have to write this down.”
I protested — I wasn’t a writer. But I did have a lifetime of stories, a turbulent life of highs and lows, and a desire to help others feel less alone.
So I wrote the book.
Let’s Talk Sex, Cuts And Blow-dries is bold, funny and validating. It explores sexuality, identity, reinvention and pleasure — with practical advice and honest reflections of my own experiences. I even include a detailed, empowering diagram of the female anatomy to help readers and their partners better understand women’s bodies without shame or confusion. My “low and slow manuscript” has also had tongues wagging literally (I’ll say no more!).
If my journey does anything, I hope it encourages people, young or old, to question, explore and embrace who they truly are. Because sometimes the most powerful transformations don’t happen in the mirror…
They happen when we finally allow ourselves to be honest.
Vicki Lord is a lesbian, multi award-winning hairdresser, educator, former TV presenter and author of the book Let’s Talk Sex, Cuts And Blow-dires which you can buy here.
Love media made by and for LGBTQIA+ women and gender diverse people? Then you’ll love DIVA. We’ve been spotlighting the community for over 30 years. Here’s how you can get behind queer media and keep us going for another generation:linkin.bio/ig-divamagazine
Did you know that DIVA has now become a charity? Our magazine is published by the DIVA Charitable Trust. You can find out more about the organisation and how you can offer your support here:divacharitabletrust.com
