In this week’s DIVA Dating Digest, we learn more about the comedian and her psychotherapist wife
BY YASMIN VINCE, IMAGE BY GETTY
Even though she was born in Denmark and spent a lot of her childhood in New York, Sandi Toksvig is definitely a British national treasure. From presenting the Great British Bake Off to comedy tours to founding the Women’s Equality Party, she has become a household name, beloved by the country. As one of the first publicly out lesbians in UK entertainment, she is a particular favourite in the queer community.
Sandi has been in a relationship with her wife Debbie since 2007. Join us as we learn more about these amazing women and their equally amazing marriage!
Debbie is a psychotherapist
She worked for the NHS for several years and has been the lead therapist for several mental health charities, including The Priory, a mental health hospital in South London.
Debbie’s specialisms include working with the LGBTQIA community and the “unique pressures” of being part of it. She also regularly works with people in the entertainment industry, particularly looking at the problems and stress that arecaused by living life in the public eye.
They got a civil partnership in 2007
Debbie formally joined the Toksvig clan in 2007 when she and Sandi got a civil partnership. In March 2014, the couple decided to celebrate the legalisation of same-sex marriage in England and Wales by renewing their vows.
They had the ceremony at the Royal Festival Hall on the Southbank. 2,000 guests were in attendance, including David Mitchell, Sheila Hancock and Peter Tatchell. Sandi joked that the couple had kept the whole day very low-key. She said: “We did it in a very quiet, understated way – on stage at the festival hall! All my children were part of it and two thousand people attended… so a tiny little thing!”
Nine months later, the partnership was converted into a marriage.
Sandi’s daughter walked her down the aisle
Though Debbie and Sandi have no children together, they are incredibly close with Sandi’s three children from her previous relationship with Peta Stewart.
One of Sandi’s daughters, Megan, walked her down the aisle at the Festival Hall. They walked to the tune of I’m Getting Married In The Morning, sung by the London Gay Men’s Chorus. Sandi told This Morning that “it was perfect”. She added: “The most emotional moment for me was my daughter Megan, who gave me away. We walked into the audience and two thousand people stood up and cheered. It was very emotional for me.”
Sandi’s children have always been incredibly important to her. In 1994, after she publicly came out, there was a lot of backlash, especially as there were very few openly lesbian public figures in the UK at the time. To protect her children, Sandi and her family went into hiding.
She told The Telegraph: “I would rather keep my private life to myself. But I didn’t want to live in fear.”
Some of the wedding guests were police officers
Sadly the death threats have continued. Speaking to Cambridge Union earlier in 2024, the presenter revealed she had been threatened twice in one month alone.
“It is still ongoing, but you can’t let that rule your life,” she added.
But you can take precautions. Because of Sandi’s past experiences with homophobic hate, she and Debbie had police protection at their wedding.
Sandi said: “When we got married I had to have a close protection police officer beside me.”
They live on a houseboat in Wandsworth
Since getting married, Sandi and Debbie have lived on a gorgeous houseboat on the River Thames, docked in Wandsworth. They share the boat with their dog, Mildred, who enjoys bird watching from the deck.
This isn’t their only home. The two also have a house (land-based this time) in Herne Bay, Kent. It was at this house that Sandi and her wife hosted Christmas dinner for her former GBBO colleagues in 2017. We hope Paul and Prue brought the Christmas pudding!
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