“Now, here we are catching each other’s gaze across a crowded bar and all I can think is how lovely she is and how much I need to know her.”


I’m checking out London’s newest gay bar. That’s when I meet her for the second time, to be precise. Fate has been throwing us together since the summer when we met by pure chance. I was pretty smitten but didn’t make a move because I wasn’t sure if she liked me liked me

Now, here we are catching each other’s gaze across a crowded bar and all I can think is how lovely she is and how much I need to know her.

But the devil’s* at the wheel, intent on playing a little game of hard to get. You know the one, you feign disinterest so they’ll want you more. The Cheeky Charmer’s not normally a game player but tonight I’m a little confidence drunk from the hungry looks I’ve been getting from around the room.

But there’s only one woman I’m interested in. And I’m aware, these moments don’t happen very often. The ones where fate seems to whisper from across the ages, spinning the sands of time, promising secrets if you’ll only listen.

Fate, however, is momentarily drowned out by the devil’s seductive whisperings oiling their way into my brain, telling me to “make her wait.”

I kill time flirting with random women before finally making my move. When I do, hollow laughter echoes in my head and I’m reminded the devil’s a trickster king. She’s on the dance floor and my mate Finn is dancing dangerously close, looking like she’s about to make a move.

And that’s when something snaps and the Cheeky Charmer pulls what one bystander later described as “a lesbian power move” and a “thing of beauty”. I give it the full alpha lesbo flex and I’m striding across the room like a shark*** smelling blood, carving my way through women like I’m parting the waves of a biblical lesbian red sea.****

***Yes, I’m aware sharks don’t “stride” but you get my meaning.

****Yes, I’ve lost control of my metaphors but that’s what passion will do for you 🤷‍♀️.

I’m not entirely sure what happens next. I’m almost certain steam comes out of my ears and my eyes roll back. The devil presses all the buttons in my brain, particularly the big red one reserved for emergencies like this. I blow Finn clean out of the water and somehow get my girl.

Now, I’d like to say that I’m not a wanker. That I wouldn’t normally step on a friend’s toes. But there’s something about this woman and she’s been in my head since the summer. Suddenly we’re dancing. She’s backing into me, letting me pull her in by her hips and I’m feeling her move against me like she was always meant to be there.

There’s an energy between us, an invisible pull drawing us together. We nearly kiss but she pulls away, the game of “hard to get” continuing a little longer. It’s an exquisite torture, waiting for the moment our lips will finally meet.

When they do, it’s like we’re somewhere else, losing ourselves to the kiss. As we pull away, she sighs and says she forgot where she was. I pull her in for a longer smooch and this time I’m transported, reminded of a Disney movie where Sleeping Beauty dances into the clouds with her prince.

And then she’s taking my hand and we’re walking across the room and suddenly, in that moment, I’m her Prince Charming.

*The Cheeky Charmer is governed by an imaginary cartoon devil and angel that sit on their shoulders. They’ve been vacationing for a few weeks. Clearly the angel accrued more holiday and is still away 🤷‍♀️

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