Reimagining some queer classics to make them that little bit better

BY SOPHIE GRIFFITHS, IMAGE VIA INSTAGRAM

Over the past few years, we’ve finally started to see some great LGBTQI representation in Hollywood films and on the indie circuit. 

All of a sudden we’ve been granted some amazing queer characters and plots that don’t rely on cliches, stereotyping or homophobic violence towards the LGBTQI community. 

But as we have gradually earned ourselves a spot on the big screen, it’s led us to wonder what would some of the films we love look like if they fully embracing their underlying queer elements? How would some of our queer favourite queer classics benefit from a modern twist? 

Listen up Hollywood, we’ve got some queer film ideas for you to take into consideration. 

Bend It Like Beckham

You’d be forgiven for thinking Bend It Like Beckham is just your average coming-of-age story between two best friends who love football, but we strongly believe it is much more than that. 

It’s no secret how sapphic this film is. The movie follows Jess, played by Parminder Nagra, and Jules, played by Keira Knightley, on their journey to being accepted by their families – not as queer women, but as female footballers. 

Throughout the entire film their aesthetic and even the things that they say are undeniably queer. At various points they are challenged about their relationship and they deny fancying one another, but it all would have made so much more sense had the characters just been queer. 

On the press tour for the super queer film Colette, Keira Knightley even told PrideSource that she wants a lesbian Bend it Like Beckham sequel and agreed that Jess and Jules should have ended up together. We couldn’t agree more, this is the queer justice we deserve.

Jennifer’s Body

On paper, Jennifer’s Body sounds a bit messed up now that 11 years have passed since its release. However, there were so many great elements that should be unpacked and could easily turn this into more than just your usual horror fare. This could have been the queer teen horror we’ve always wanted.

Any queer woman who has seen this film will remember it for the relationship dynamic between Jennifer and her best friend Needy and their steamy make-out session which was quite clearly added in and exaggerated for male audiences. It could have been so great if it was handled in the right way. It even had a female director, there was so much potential.

The film quite clearly depicts Jennifer as being attracted to men and women without ever explicitly using the word bisexual, but had they confirmed her bisexuality and really owned the queer elements of this gory horror, queer audiences everywhere would have been delighted. We’ll take a remake with Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried as soon as possible, please.

Blue Is The Warmest Colour

There’s no doubt that Blue Is The Warmest Colour is one of the most iconic queer films. Pretty much every queer woman has turned to this film whether they’re a baby gay still figuring things out, or a queer film connoisseur.

It’s beautiful, but there were plenty of problems within the film and the circumstances surrounding the film itself. It appears that the main thing missing on the set on this award-winning lesbian film, was indeed lesbians. 

A huge amount of the talk surrounding Blue Is The Warmest Colour, still to this day, continues to focus on its infamously explicit 10 minute sex scene. During a press tour at the Telluride film festival, the film’s stars described terrible treatment from the film’s director during a gruelling five-month shoot, which then led to two months of public sparring between the actresses and director.

It may have only been released in 2013, but maybe it’s time to try again with this queer tale and make it into a more ethical film, with an authentically queer cast and crew.

But I’m A Cheerleader

We all love But I’m A Cheerleader, but it’s very easy to spot some of the flaws in the storyline looking back on it now. It’s a very comedic critique of conversion therapy and is arguably overly flippant given the seriousness of the subject matter. 

The film’s camp humour which pokes fun at heterosexual anxiety is still one of the best portrayals of queer life but it would be fun to update this with an updated representation of conversion therapy.

The lead character, Megan Bloomfield, champions the femme lesbian aesthetic and we love that. Let’s strike another blow against femme the invisibility within the LGBTQI community with a remake. 

Or even a sequel where we find out where Megan Bloomfield’s queer life took her next? We’re pretty sure Natasha Lyonne would be happy to reprise this iconic role.

Bound

Let’s be clear, there’s nothing wrong with Bound. However, the release of this queer Thriller/Romance was back in 1996, and it’s worth revisiting to bring it back to life among the current wave of queer films. 

It was a classic film noir, except instead of the lead being a male, it was Corky. A studio offered the directors (the Wachowskis) a lot more money to make the movie, but they said that they had to make Corky a man. By sticking with the original casting, Bound earned a place in our queer hearts forever. 

Bound received positive reviews from film critics who praised the humour and style of the directors as well as the realistic portrayal of a lesbian relationship in a mainstream film.

It would be amazing to see a remake of the film and have someone like Kristen Stewart playing the butch, smouldering Corky and Lauren Jauregui playing the ultra femme Violet. You’ll catch us front row at the cinema if this dream comes true.

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