“Hey, we’ve matched in three different apps now so we should probably just get married.”


I was walking down the street when I saw her. I hadn’t considered that today might be the day I meet the woman of my dreams, why would I have? I was characteristically walking and texting and chose the precise right moment to look up from my phone.

She wasn’t very tall and had a gorgeous mane of blonde curls. Impeccably dressed, her make-up was flawless. She wore coral lipstick painted perfectly over her full lips and her eyes were startlingly blue. This woman was so beautiful I swear it actually hurt my eyes. I would have loved so much to have spoken to her. Alas, I thought, she’s definitely straight.

I composed my thoughts, sighed internally, and walked right on by. Never again did I see the woman of my dreams. It eventually began to feel like I’d imagined her, until one day I forgot about her entirely.  

Christ, that would have been bloody awful, wouldn’t it? Walking right past the love of your life and missing out on the best thing that could have ever happened to you. If I’d been lucky enough to end up in the same place as Pearl before we met, I would indeed have looked at her appreciatively, presumed she was straight and then continued my day a little bit sadder, knowing that this beautiful woman would never want to be with me.

As a lipstick lesbian who fancies other lipstick lesbians, you’re sort of programmed to assume every attractive woman you see isn’t interested in women. I think it’s probably the ultimate tribulation of lipstick life. Thank GOD for online dating, where you can find out whether someone is gay super easily, from the comfort of your own home. Free from embarrassment or awkward “Is she? Isn’t she?” moments.

Pearl and I met online, as I’m sure you’ve already guessed. When I saw her photos, I realised she was the femmest of femme lesbians. She could have easily passed for a straight girl but the reassuring “Interested in: women” on her profile put an end to my concerns.

We actually matched on no less than three dating sites/apps (what can I say, I cast a wide net), so obviously, I HAD to message her. “Hey, we’ve matched in three different places now, so we should probably get married!” I joked in the first message I sent her. The joke was on me though, because now marriage is very much on the cards.

Pearl and I often discuss how we wouldn’t have met without the internet. I can practically feel my heart flutter when I imagine what the screen on my phone looked like when I received a message from her.

This is my love letter to online dating and how infinitely easier it makes relationships for lipstick lesbians. Both in terms of being recognised as a woman who dates women, and finding others like yourself. I’m thrilled that now there are actual dating sites specifically for femme women to meet each other, it warms my heart to know that other single femmes are getting a helping hand at finding Ms Right.

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