Here are 8 things you should consider before packing up your life
BY SOFIE ROOS, IMAGE BY AFLO IMAGES/CANVA
You’ve met, fallen deeply in love and suddenly it feels natural to move in together. But how do you know if you’re ready to take this step, or if it’s better to wait a bit? Here are my eight best pieces of advice on how to know if you’re ready to U-Haul in with your partner!
You’ve talked about everyday life
To be in love is one thing; sharing laundry, dishes, bedroom and kitchen is another. Make sure that you’ve talked about what routines you like, how you live your everyday life. Make sure to communicate your general boundaries and needs in a household, from alone time and sleep routines to cleaning. Not romantic, I know, but very necessary to avoid conflict!
You can deal with conflict
You won’t agree on everything, and that’s normal. With that said, you need to be able to deal with conflict before moving in together. Make sure that you can argue respectfully and try to understand one another in order to come to an agreement.
You want to live together, not just escape loneliness
Ask yourself if you genuinely want to live with someone, or if you’re into the idea just because it feels easier than living alone.
You’ve talked about money
This is another unsexy but necessary thing to talk about. How do you split the cost of food, electricity, rent and unexpected expenses? Deciding beforehand how you pay for things makes everything easier!
You respect each other’s space
You need to be able to get your own space even in a small household. I advise that you talk about alone time and how to ensure that you can close a door and just be you when needed.
You’ve talked about your future
You don’t have to have a five-year plan, but it helps a lot to know if you’re heading in the same direction. Talk about where you want to live in the future, how you view your relationship and what you hope for.
You have already tested living under the same roof
A romantic weekend doesn’t say if you’re yet ready to share an everyday life together, so before moving in, try to live under the same roof for a longer period. Aim for a non-romantic occasion, e.g a random cold and rainy week in October. Spending a longer period of time in the same household gives you the chance to find what does and doesn’t work.
It feels safe, not just exciting
The strong and urgent impulse of needing to move in together can feel amazing, but a lasting shared home needs more than chemistry. If the feeling of wanting to move in together not only feels fun and exciting, but also safe and natural, you might be ready.
Remember: U-Hauling in with your partner doesn’t have any deadline — it’s okay to want to wait. Sometimes the most romantic thing one can do is to let love take some time!
About the author: Sofie Roos is a licensed sexologist and relationship therapist, as well as an author at the Swedish sex and relationship magazine Passionerad
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