Welcome to this sexpert queer guide!
BY SOFIE ROOS, IMAGE BY ATLASTSTUDIO/CANVA
Interested in sapphic mutual masturbation? Not entirely sure what it can look like? Here’s everything you need to know to get started in a pleasurable way!
What is it?
Mutual masturbation is when you masturbate in the presence of your partner(s). It involves one or both of you touching yourselves while you enjoy your partner by watching them and listening and talking to them.
4 ways to masturbate together
Use your hands
The easiest way to explore mutual masturbation is by touching yourself with your hands. Rub your clit, finger yourself (either vaginally or anally), stimulate your nipples, stroke your genitals, and do all the other things you like. Let loose and pleasure yourself in whatever way makes you feel great.
Add sex toys, lube, pillows and try new places
You can also use sex toys on yourself, for example by stimulating your clitoris with a vibrator, using a butt plug or riding a dildo in front of your partner.
If you’d like to take the mutual masturbation to the next level, then invest in remotely controlled adult toys that you use on your partner while watching them go crazy!
Other ways to masturbate together can be to rub yourself against a pillow, to use interesting lubes, experiment with temperature play on yourself, or to be in new interesting places. You could masturbate together in the shower, living room, the car or the forest. Get creative and let loose!
Be playful with sex positions
Many newbies to mutual masturbation get stuck in the missionary, where they lie either in front of or next to each other. I really recommend trying other positions to make it more interesting and dynamic! Try cowgirl, doggystyle, lie on your stomach, stand up or sit. Every position is allowed!
Read sex novels or watch porn together
There are many things you can try to add an extra dimension to the experience. Porn, reading sex novels together. Basically, anything that can make the moment even hotter. And yes, sexy songs, candles and an overall cosy atmosphere is a nice touch that’ll enrich the experience.
What’s the appeal?
Well, it’s an amazing and pressure-free way to be intimate without touching each other. Which is perfect if you’d like to have a pleasurable moment together but don’t want to, or can’t have sex where you touch one another.
Additionally, I recommend mutual masturbation as a way to learn what your partner’s into by observing how they touch themselves. And don’t forget to please yourself just the way you want to.
I love using mutual masturbation as foreplay, teasing each other before you are allowed to finally touch!
It’s great for long-distance sex
If you’re in a long-distance relationship and want to have sex, mutual masturbation can be a gamechanger. Call your partner, either with video or only audio, and then please yourself while talking to and/or watching your loved one. And why not spice it up with some distance-controlled sex toys that you use on each other? You’re welcome!
Remember consent, and that there are no rights and wrongs
As with all types of sex, consent is extremely important during mutual masturbation, even if you’re just touching yourself. Ask your partner what they’re comfortable with doing in the same room, if they have any preferences and boundaries, and remember that what felt okay before might change. Keep communicating through the whole act, and you’ll have a great chance of having a very good time.
And lastly, remember that there’s no right and wrong way to masturbate together. Be curious, talk with each other, enjoy yourself and your partner’s presence, and have fun!
About the author: Sofie Roos is a licensed sexologist and relationship therapist, as well as author at the Swedish sex and relationship magazine Passionerad
