Looking for inspiration for things to introduce to the bedroom? Struggling to find tips that aren’t too rough for your taste? Well, you’ve come to the right place
BY SOFIE ROOS, IMAGE BY PRESSMASTER/CANVA
There’s nothing wrong with preferring sex that is on the more vanilla side. Rough and kinky sex isn’t for everyone. So, if you’re a sapphic who is looking for some inspiration and prefers things on the vanilla side, here are some hot and creative things you can try while staying in your comfort zone.
Keep discovering the magic of going slow
One of the most amazing things about vanilla sex is that it’s slower and more romantic, giving you a better chance to focus on the emotional connection. By purposely slowing it down even more, you’ll be able to make it more intense. So give every touch, kiss and movement some more thought and time instead of feeling that you need to rush ahead.
Involve the whole body
The whole body can be included during sex, not only the erogenous zones. Give the arms, back, neck or stomach love as well. These parts can be just as pleasurable to stimulate as more sexually loaded zones, and it also gives variation!
Introduce a mirror
To have sex in front of a mirror at home can give a new dimension and a great kick, even if you’re “just” having the same sex as you’re always having. So it’s a simple yet effective way to spice things up and make it more sensual and exciting.
Experiment with tempo and rhythm changes
I always recommend people who’re into vanilla sex to more actively change between intense and low tempo. Don’t underestimate even small changes in rhythm; this can make a big difference in how it feels.
Use sensual massages as foreplay
Start with a slow massage with oil or lube. That sets the mood, makes the body more sensitive and relaxed, builds intimacy and works as a tease. A pro tip is to include those less sexual zones here.
Kiss with variation
Kisses are one of the most powerful parts of vanilla sex, so explore different types. Play with the amount of tongue and saliva used, how soft your lips are, bite a little bit, go from slow to intense, and kiss not only their lips, but also explore your partner’s whole body with your mouth.
Make adjustments to your fave positions
Small changes in your favourite positions, such as putting a pillow under the lumbar spine in the missionary during strapping, or using a vibrator instead of your fingers in a position you like, can give a whole new feeling. You don’t have to get into the 69 position to find variety in the bedroom, just be creative with what you already enjoy.
Find the eye contact and emotional connection
It’s important to actually stop for a second, look each other in the eyes, give a long hug and whisper something sweet to one another. This tends to make the sex more intimate and loaded, so take time for those small moments that build connection.
Switch up the environment
You don’t need to go out and have sex in the forest or in a locker room for it to be exciting – to go from the bed to the sofa, or to have sex in the shower, are also ways to create a new setting, which can make things feel new again.
Do also read: Tired of the bed? 9 great places to have lesbian and sapphic sex
Use your voice more
Make small sounds when something feels nice, give better compliments or let your partner know how much you love them. These are all things that build safety and a hotter feeling between you during intimacy.
Get better at aftercare
There’s no better way to end great vanilla sex than with slow and intimate aftercare. Take time to just be for a while, and do something you both enjoy, no matter if it’s talking, just listening to each other’s breaths.
Sofie Roos is a licensed sexologist and relationship therapist, as well as author at the Swedish sex positive online magazine Passionerad.
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