Learn more from the creators of The Bobu LGBTQ+ Safety Toolkit
BY LUCIANA COUSIN, IMAGE BY GETTY
A rainbow flag. Gender-neutral toilets. Staff who know your pronouns. None of that makes you safe on its own. Most places stop there. That’s the problem.
Safety isn’t fire exits, cameras, or policies on paper. Baseline. Real safety is emotional, social, and physical. It’s being yourself without calculating the cost. When people respect you instead of tolerating your existence. When someone’s got your back before things go sideways. That’s a safe space. Most places calling themselves safe would not recognise real safety if it walked in and said, “Hello I am real safety.”
Why LGBTQIA+ Safety Is Different
For us, safety isn’t straightforward. It’s navigating a world that questions whether you deserve to exist as you are. It’s calculating whether it’s safe to hold your partner’s hand. It’s the bathroom decision that shouldn’t be a decision. It’s bracing for microaggressions disguised as curiosity. It’s reading every room before you can relax.
The gap we are not talking about
Every venue and business has procedures for physical safety, fire drills, security, emergency exits. But emotional safety? No framework. No one’s practising what to do when harm happens in real time. That’s the gap.
Inclusion without safety is performance
You can be welcomed in theory but still feel on edge, invisible, or unsafe. Microaggressions, subtle discrimination, the constant anxiety of being othered, they are all still there. Real safety refuses to apologise for existing. It destroys the culture that breeds harm. Queerness is not a debate. It is existence.
Introducing ESPresso Shots
We’ve created ESPresso Shots to help navigate spaces that haven’t caught up. They’re built on three layers of awareness: emotional, social, and physical (ESP). Like espresso, they jolt you into focus when you need a plan fast.
- Feel It: Notice your emotions. Do not ignore them. Your discomfort is data.
- Read It: Trust your instincts. Read the room. Who is safe? What is the vibe?
- Own It: Speak up, set boundaries, take control. Choose your response.
These are not abstract exercises. They are tools for anyone who has ever walked
into a “welcoming” space and felt anything but safe. Emotional and social awareness is what turns inclusion into real safety.
The cost of doing nothing
These tools exist because too many people stay silent when it matters most. Doing nothing lets harm continue. Ignoring microaggressions, staying silent when someone is mistreated, that’s surrender. Fear wins over courage. Silence wins over action. Everyone deserves to exist fully, unapologetically, and without fear. It’s on all of us to make that real.
Why we built this
We built bobu to flip the script on what safety actually looks like. Waiting, pretending it is someone elseâs problem, hoping harm will not happen, that is giving in. Step in. Speak up. Make spaces truly safe right here, right now.
The bobu LGBTQ+ Safety Toolkit gives practical guidance for five common scenarios LGBTQIA+ people face: healthcare appointments, bathroom access, microaggressions, confrontational encounters, and being visible in public. Inclusion is not safety. Safety is staying, speaking, and living unapologetically. We are done asking. We are building it ourselves.
Download the free toolkit
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