There are so many misconceptions when it comes to what we get up to in the bedroom
BY SOFIE ROOS, IMAGE BY THIRDMAN/PEXELS
I’m sure many DIVA readers know that uncomfortable feeling when they hear or read about someone who’s “so sure” about how lesbians and sapphics have sex, when it’s abundantly clear that they haven’t the slightest clue.
These false ideas on how we get laid are not only tiring or absurd to hear, or even offensive or saddening; they can also confuse many sapphics with little or no experience, leading them to think that they must have sex in this way in order to be valid.
I’m Sofie Roos, a bisexual licensed sexologist and relationship therapist, and I’m also authoring for the Swedish relationship and sex positive magazine Passionerad. And from me to all you fellow DIVAs: here are the misconceptions about how we have sex that I know so many of us are tired of…
All sapphics enjoy oral
While some love giving or receiving head, others don’t enjoy it at all. It’s highly individual and that’s fully okay.
Scissoring is the only way we can get intimate
Sure, scissoring is one way that sapphic couples can enjoy each other’s bodies. But there’s also an abundance of other ways we can have sex, so no, scissoring is not our only option.
We don’t know when to finish when there’s no man involved
No, just because no man’s busting a nut, it doesn’t mean that we get confused about when we feel satisfied and done. Sapphic sex is a team play, and we communicate around when the sex feels great to end, no matter if it’s after zero, one or 10 orgasms, after two minutes or two hours.
Often it’s after our hands start to cramp, or when someone collapses out of satisfaction!
All sapphics use strap-ons
While many enjoy giving or receiving using a strap, there are also tons of sappics who don’t have any interest in penetration, and therefore prefer not to use a strap when they get laid.
Everyone is into different kinds of sex, simple as that!
Lesbian sex doesn’t feel as great as straight sex because there’s no penis
Sorry to break it to you, but studies show that lesbians tend to have more orgasms than straight women… so we’ll let the data speak for itself.
If you’re using a strap-on, you’re not a real lesbian
Enjoying penetration doesn’t have anything to do with sexuality. These myths are so outdated.
Sapphic sex is only about orgasms
While orgasms are a nice part of getting intimate, we do also enjoy the kissing, hugging, cuddling and emotional intimacy. And yes, some of us do enjoy spanking, hair pulling, spit play or roleplaying – so no, the orgasm isn’t always the main focus.
Oral sex isn’t sex
Cunnilingus is sex just as much as penetrative sex, period.
Lesbian sex doesn’t make you lose your virginity
This misconception is that all sapphics who have never been with a man are virgins, because there’s been no penis in the vagina.
I’ll just let the silence speak volumes about how dumb this thinking is. All sex “counts” as sex.
Sapphics need a vibrator to orgasm
Funny enough, many of us are gods at making ourselves and our partners climax, even without a vibrator. We’ve got our tricks…
Do also read: Get better at eating pussy – tips for beginners and the pros needing new inspiration!
We always have soft and gentle sex
No, many of us like to get rough too. It’s all individual. So while sapphic sex can be very gentle, it can also be extremely wild and crazy!
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