Struggling to date as a femme? We’ve got your back
BY HEBE HANCOCK, IMAGE BY GETTY
In a world where femme visibility is often overlooked – even within the LGBTQIA community – Juliette Prais is on a mission to shift the narrative. As the founder and CEO of Pink Lobster Matchmaking, Juliette has built more than a dating service; she’s created a revolutionary space where femme-identifying women can find connection, community, and, sometimes, love.
“I don’t like being single,” Juliette admits with a laugh. “I was one of those people who really wanted to find someone. But navigating online dating as a femme lesbian felt unsafe, misunderstood, and full of assumptions. People didn’t even believe I was gay.”
It was that sense of invisibility and frustration that sparked her now-thriving matchmaking empire. What started as a simple idea – born from a conversation with her sister – has grown into an international service serving women in the UK, US, and beyond.
At the time, Juliette was a schoolteacher with therapeutic training, and she quickly noticed a gap in the dating world: “There was nothing out there that supported the whole journey. It was all surface-level dating sites. No one was saying, ‘Let’s help you understand yourself first.’ Especially not for femme women.”
That initial insight sparked the beginning of Pink Lobster Matchmaking – named in part after the unique bond between lobsters, which are said to mate for life. Originally a community-driven online space, the platform quickly evolved into an elite, bespoke matchmaking service with a dedicated team of coaches, therapists, and contributors who intimately understand the queer experience.
Juliette’s belief in creating femme-specific spaces comes from lived experience. “There’s a huge misjudgement in the community,” she says. “People assume femmes aren’t gay or aren’t looking for love. They’re still a minority, even within our own spaces.”
With events like Fancy A Femme – a luxe speed-dating night for femme-identifying women – Juliette aims to challenge those biases head-on. “Women come away from these events saying, ‘Oh my God, I can actually find someone like me.’ That’s powerful.”
Despite facing backlash from anti-inclusive voices online, Pink Lobster has remained proudly trans-inclusive. “As long as you identify as a woman and want to be part of the space, you’re welcome,” she affirms. “We’re not here to gatekeep identity. We’re here to help people connect.”
Unlike traditional dating services, Pink Lobster takes a deeply personal approach. “You have to be open to therapy to work with us,” Juliette says. “Because love is about self-discovery. One client was an ex-nun who left the convent after falling in love with another nun. She didn’t end up finding a partner through us, but she found herself – and that’s just as important.”
Juliette likens her role to a therapist-meets-matchmaker-meets-guardian angel. “We vet everyone. We change names, tweak photos, conduct video interviews. We protect people’s safety and privacy because it’s not just about finding love – it’s about feeling safe enough to.”
After more than 15 years in the industry, Juliette has seen patterns emerge. And she’s not afraid to get candid.
“One of the biggest mistakes I see is lesbians staying friends with all their exes,” she says, eyes wide. “If a straight man told his new girlfriend he was still best friends with his ex, she’d run. But we excuse it because we’re women. It’s emotional baggage – and it stops you from fully moving forward.”
Another common pitfall? Bringing negative energy on dates. “Women will start a date by complaining – about the traffic, their headache, the cat being sick. But dating is about showing up with energy and attraction. Show up confident. Feel sexy. Believe you’re desirable.”
It’s tough love – but it works.
With a constant waiting list of clients and plans to expand matchmaking and educational seminars, Juliette’s mission is far from over. “The future for us is about helping women wake up to the patterns holding them back – and giving them tools to grow.”
Whether you’re a lipstick-wearing lesbian, a power-suited queer woman, or somewhere in between, Juliette’s message is clear: “Love starts with knowing yourself – and being unafraid to be seen.”
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