Manganaro writes about the importance of sober queer spaces
IMAGE VIA PEXELS
Bars have been a key segment and hot spot for the queer community. Pride began as a riot at The Stonewall Inn, 1969, during an era when many gay bars in New York struggled to even hold a liquor licence if queerness was on display. Our bars have been a place of uprising and liberty. Whether to hold our partner’s hand or explore new ones, where we can dance and celebrate with our community. A sentiment I feel has remained true to this day particularly with the recent rise in lesbian bars and club nights like London’s new La Camionera and Pop-up Dyke bar; places where we know one another without even saying a word.
While bars have served us well over the years, if as a community our spaces are limited to only one option it leaves many without a place to go. Bars and clubs are inaccessible to many LGBTQIA folks. For years there has been a fear surrounding going to openly LGBTQIA designated nightlife spaces, as they are at higher risk of being targeted for hate crimes. In Kit Sinclair’s show 30 And Out they discuss the Pulse nightclub shooting in Orlando, 2016, the fear that it could’ve been her.
Despite these factors, we deserve to have a variety of inclusive spaces other than bars. I recently reached out on Instagram to find out what other’s opinions were on the importance of queer sober spaces and what they mean to them.
One user said they were “an opportunity to feel like I belong, to be validated and feel connection, without a need to be loud and flirtatious.” Another said sober queer spaces feel “safe, present, and connecting”. The final discussed how they “can TRULY feel accepted,” and that “it’s not nice to feel so uncomfy in an inclusive space.”
I in no way feel we should abolish our non-sober spaces, they’re a place where we can let loose and get away with the silly dance moves we pull after a few drinks. For many they are a go-to hang out spot to meet up with friends and we can’t forget the beauty that is pub grub (sometimes I just want some chips and a bean burger paired with a local ale).
I’ve also noticed many companies making space for non-drinkers, ensuring there is always an excellent 0% option of our favourite drinks. As well as this, DJs like Lexx have been spotted supporting “sober dance + sound bath” at The Beehive Centre, Bristol. Also in Bristol is the group Sober Queers who regularly run a range of sober events, from open mics to art workshops.
As per the title of the article, queer cafes are the BEST for daytime meet ups! Not only that, but LGBTQIA owned establishments tend to be better at catering towards dietary requirements. If you’re in Bath be sure to check out Daisy And Bean who regularly run workshops (monthly pottery anyone?), book club, film club, and their cookies are always incredible! Similarly, Feel Good Club in Manchester, is a coffee shop by day spreading positivity, and by night has everything from markets to performance nights. And Brighton is absolutely crawling with queer-owned cafes. So let’s love our sober queer friends and make space for everyone!
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