This National Sibling Day, one ambassador from Just Like Us talks about the power of both given and chosen family
BY CHARLY FAYE
Being LGBTQIA in the current climate can be incredibly conflicting and complicated; however, it also comes with an amazing and resilient community that will stand up for one another, fight for each other’s rights, and create space for each other’s voices. On National Sibling Day, I’d like to celebrate two of my beautiful queer siblings, one given and one chosen, who have been part of that community for me.
I first met Robyn (she/her) in the womb. Our introduction to the real world was incredibly dramatic. I was born without a drop of blood in my body and weirdly, Robyn popped out a few minutes later resembling a grumpy little tomato – very suspicious. This really set the tone of our relationship. Not only do we continue to steal each other’s belongings, but we are also able to navigate the amazing highs and hard lows of life together.
Growing up queer can be a tricky time but I had the unique experience of going through this at the same time as my twin. A lot of people had misconceptions about us, often jokingly asking: “Which one is the gay twin?” Or, they would assume that one of us was just trying to copy the other. Robyn even wrote a brilliant poem about the experience.
Despite this, I have learnt that one of the most powerful parts of our community is unity. The tough parts of being LGBTQIA are made a little easier when we have others by our side. I am very grateful to my mum for giving me my own two-person community from birth.
I work with Just Like Us as an ambassador, which means I deliver talks to school-aged children, sharing my experience growing up LGBTQIA. In my story, I often cite going to university as the point in my life where I truly connected with my queer community. It was here that myself and Robyn met the wonderful Harry (he/they).
In the first week of starting our course, the three of us as new and shy friends, decided to go to the LGBTQIA society together. It was this day, for the first time in my life, instead of being met with the usual greeting of “OMG, are you twins?”, I was instead met with “OMG are you triplets?” I would put this assumption down to our shared golden locks (although there may be two bottle blondes among the trio… ). We proudly answered yes to this question, and have done so ever since.
I can honestly hand on heart tell you that Harry is one of the most amazing, vibrant and kind human beings to grace this earth, and it is such a privilege to have them be a part of my chosen family. I have learnt so much from them and through our time together. They have really helped me come out of my shell. Both my given and chosen triplet bring so much happiness to my life. Whether it’s through Harry’s drag persona shining on stage or Robyn’s alter ego Granny Bob making me laugh till my tummy hurts, they are forever reminding me not to take life too seriously.
They are both also a huge source of inspiration for me. All three of us work within the creative industry. Harry runs LGBTQIA workshops and assemblies, has extensive involvement in a number of charities and is always advocating for others, which has inspired me to pursue my own involvement in aiding our wonderful community. Robyn is a brilliant performer and filmmaker. She has the most amazingly organised and beautifully unhinged mind, which never fails to produce an array of intriguing and intricate stories. Her commitment constantly inspires me in my own work.
We are all particularly passionate about LGBTQIA themes and at the beginning of this year Harry, alongside their lovely partner Rasheed, re-launched Outcome LGBTQ, a multifaceted platform listing the best LGBTQIA entertainment worldwide. We have been lucky enough to have worked with each other on a number of projects already this year but this has provided us with more than just great friends on set. Telling LGBTQIA stories can be incredibly vulnerable, especially if drawing from personal experience. Not only do I choose to work with Robyn and Harry because I have a lot of trust in their talent and commitment, but it is also because I know they are able to provide a safe place for us all to create our best work.
Harry and Robyn are two very important puzzle pieces that help make up the overall picture of my community. And they are a strong reminder to me that all family is equally important, whether given, chosen or both. I was lucky to be born into a family that accepts me for who I am. For many LGBTQIA individuals, this is not the case. To anyone experiencing this, my message would be: please know that your chosen family is out there too. If you already have a Robyn, then amazing! What a beautiful gift. But if not, then there is a Harry out there waiting to help you shine.
Charly volunteers as an ambassador for Just Like Us, the LGBT+ young people’s charity. LGBT+ and aged 18 to 25? Sign up here!
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