“Being an LGBTQIA person of faith is a beautiful thing to be, and I have experienced a huge amount of joy in embracing these two identities together”
BY EMILY ALICE MOSS IMAGE BY PEXELS
Religious holidays, whether it be Christmas, Hanukkah, or Eid, are often a difficult period for so many queer people, with estrangement from prejudiced family and friends is one of the most common reasons for this.
Recent stats from the Office of National Statistics (ONS) suggest that the majority of LGBTQIA people in England and Wales do not identify as religious. Nevertheless, there is a sizable number of queer people in the UK who practise a religion. In light of the run-up to Christmas, I was curious to know: how does celebrating a religious holiday look, feel and mean to queer people of faith?
“My faith grounds me and I find guidance and support through prayer, particularly during difficult times in my life,” says Becca, a PhD student and Christian, who also identifies as queer. Like many Christians around the world, Becca is gearing up for Christmas next week.
For Becca, celebrating the holidays will be no different than it is for other Christians who are not LGBTQIA, perhaps a rare unifying factor in a religion that remains, in many ways, divided. “For me, Christmas is hugely orientated around church and family, and participating in traditions I have known since I was a baby. My personal favourite is the church nativity play I help with on Christmas Eve,” she says.
Becca’s story is an interesting one: having been raised in the Church of England, she was Christian well before she realised she was queer while at university. “I was brought up very involved in church, singing in my church choir every Sunday,” she explains. “So I feel deep roots in my home church community.”
However, instead of her faith and sexuality clashing, as they do for many queer Christians, Becca found acceptance within her community. “I am lucky to have grown up in an LGBTQIA-accepting environment, and in a church community who I knew would have no issue with my queerness. This meant that when I realised I was queer I found nothing but support from my local church community,” she says.
Yet Becca, who belongs to the progressive, multi-denominational Student Christian Movement, which has an explicitly pro-LGBTQIA stance, acknowledges that being a person of faith and being LGBTQIA is often fraught for many, adding: “I have realised that my experience is not necessarily the norm.”
Becca also acknowledges that her positive experiences are not reflected by the Church Of England’s official stance – something which prevents many queer people of faith from being able to feel comfortable attending their local churches. This is especially true around Christmas when even more people attend church for popular services like Christmas carol concerts and Christmas Eve Midnight Mass.
“The fact is that in my own denomination, I would still not be able to marry someone of the same sex as me, which for someone for whom marriage is incredibly important, breaks my heart,” says Becca, in reference to the Church of England’s refusal to allow same-sex marriage ceremonies within its churches.
Despite the refusal to permit same-sex marriage, there remain several churches and organisations around the UK, like Becca’s home church and organisations like the Student Christian Movement, which strive to explicitly welcome queer people, labelling themselves as “LGBTQIA friendly” and going to great efforts to hold special events for LGBTQIA worshippers.
Around the holidays, finding welcoming safe spaces which are so proudly LGBTQIA friendly (as opposed to only nominally) is more important than ever for those in search of acceptance and community at what can often be an isolating time for queer people, who are more likely than their cisgender heterosexual peers to be spending the holiday period away from family.
In London, for example, there are the Church of England St John’s Waterloo and St Mary’s in Marylebone, both of which count numerous openly queer clergy among their staff. Both will be holding numerous Christmas events, including crib services, midnight mass, and Eucharists. They additionally hold many LGBTQIA events throughout the year, with St John’s offering a monthly Open Table service that is run by and for its community of LGBTQIA parishioners, followed by a shared meal enjoyed together.
Becca additionally suggests Open Table Network and Inclusive Church as further UK-wide organisations which will help queer Christians, queer people questioning their faith, or who are simply interested in finding a sense of community in a church, to find explicitly LGBTQIA-friendly churches, including around Christmastime.
For other faiths around the UK, organisations working with and for queer people within these communities includes KeshetUK for Judaism, Imaan for Islam and Galva 108 for Hinduism; all of these organisations hold LGBTQIA events around the year and around religious holidays.
Above all, such LGBTQIA-friendly spaces promote communities of queer people of faith, which, as Becca says, is essential for combatting what can feel like an isolating existence for some. “Finding community with other LGBTQIA Christians has shown me that these two identities are not opposing and that queer people of faith have some of the most profound and powerful faiths I have encountered.”
“Being an LGBTQIA person of faith is a beautiful thing to be, and I have experienced a huge amount of joy in embracing these two identities together.”
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I encourage all lesbians— even (especially) atheists, agnostics, heretics and doubters— to find a welcoming church and give it a try. Here in the US, welcoming churches advertise themselves as, “open and affirming”. Truly, it can be a life changing experience.
You might also meet a great woman — My wife and I were introduced to each other by my minister. He officiated at our wedding.
I am a devout, churchgoing lesbian Protestant Christian. My wife is an ordained Elder of our denomination.
Even before she realized she was a lesbian, she was instrumental in our denomination first accepting gay and lesbian Christians, then embracing us and now joyously celebrating our marriages.
Oddly, for as much publicity as US religious bigots get, I’ve found churches to be the most broadly welcoming organizations in the US. Unlike so many organizations— big corporations and nonprofits that sponsor Pride marches, for example — churches aren’t in it for the money or their own ends.
I shared your yong woman’s pain of Chuch rejection. I was raised Catholic; church doctrine says we are “intrinsically disordered”. It was only when I broke out of that doctrine and read the Bible for myself with a sympathetic minister that I came to accept and then love my lesbianism, to know that God created me — and my wife — in His image.