“I felt massively deflated. Gutted even”


So the journey began. We had set ourselves on IUI, with it being the least intrusive compared to IVF, and we were hopeful for good results. With our biggest tiny human it took three goes and with the mid-kid it was only one.

The cycle started as normal with regular scans to track follicle growth and then we used an injection to trigger ovulation. On insemination day, I was feeling pretty optimistic. It was a bit tricky getting the catheter in and I bled afterwards, but I still felt pretty relaxed about it all.

Obviously I spent that afternoon relaxing doing a handstand hoping gravity would help. Haha! But I did have an afternoon of watching Netflix and chilling, which was much needed.

The first week passed quite quickly without too much drama, but after about 10 days we caved and tested early. Nothing good comes from testing early. You either get a negative you don’t believe as it’s too early, or you get a positive you don’t believe as it’s not your test day. Seems logical talking about it now! Not at the time, logic goes out of the window.

Anyway it was negative, so that was me in a right grump for the whole day, but I told myself it was too early. The next day I had some spotting and was quietly confident it would be implantation bleeding and that it must’ve worked. I lay there googling “implantation bleeding” and even doing a quiz called, “How to tell if it is implantation bleeding”. What a bozo! 

24 hours later, I realised the stupid internet quiz was indeed wrong. It wasn’t implantation. My period arrived and I felt massively deflated. Gutted even. Lynz was really good and optimistic and kept reminding me it was only the first shot. She was right, of course, but I just really felt the pressure of the three strikes and it’s over. Here’s hoping round two is successful.

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