“Performance anxiety makes up a great percentage of bedroom confidence for women loving women”


Confidence in the bedroom can have a massive effect on self-esteem and sexual wellbeing – especially when it comes to lesbian and bisexual women.

Performance under (or over) the sheets is something that is discussed so frequently within the culture of the community, and with female-female sex so highly sexualised by the wider community, it’s no wonder that women loving women can struggle with confidence.

Performance anxiety makes up a great percentage of bedroom confidence and it’s important to remember that it is about pleasure, not performance.

You should be focusing on what does and doesn’t feel good for you or your partner instead of a judgment based upon performance in bed.

If something doesn’t feel quite right for either person involved then try switching it up or taking a break.

Improving confidence and capability within your job or social life can also boost body confidence without you even realising.

When you feel secure in one or more aspects of your life, this begins to reflect back into how you feel in the bedroom. 

Overthinking is one of the worst things you can do to impact on your body confidence.

Stay present and in the room and not in your head when being intimate with your partner. Let them know that you are really feeling what they are doing. 

Treating yourself before you hit the bedroom is an element of self care that can be invaluable to body confidence. Sometimes, we underestimate the effect of a fresh trim or a DIY face mask. 

However you approach it, remember that your sexual partner loves the way that you look.

The parts that might seem like a big deal to you don’t even occur to them, this time is just about you and your partner and they are enjoying that moment with you.

For more information on how improving your body confidence can positively influence your sexual health and wellbeing, contact Georgia, the lesbian and bisexual women’s contact at Birmingham LGBT on 0121 643 0821, or email georgiapattison@blgbt.org

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