It’s time to get honest. These are much more normal than most of us think, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of

BY SOFIE ROOS, IMAGE VIA CANVA

I’m Sofie Roos, a Swedish based sexologist and relationship therapist, as well as author at sex and relationship magazine Passionerad. I’m here to guide you through some of the most common kinks and fetishes that way more people have than they’d ever confess to. Hopefully, you’ll get some inspiration to try some of them yourself.

Humiliation kink

People having a humiliation kink enjoy either humiliating or being humiliated through verbal or physical stimulation, such as getting spat on or hearing derogatory comments, for example through dirty talk.

Praise kink

A praise kink is the contrast to a humiliation kink, and is about getting turned on by giving or getting affirmative and positive comments, such as compliments about how good you look, how great you feel during sex or how hot your voice is.

Bondage

To be into tying or getting tied up during sex with ropes, handcuffs or other tools in different forms is very common and happens often in power play, so if you’re curious, invest in some handcuffs and give it a try! 

Temperature play

Playing with hot and cold in different ways, such as by using ice cubes on your clitoris, or using wax play on your nipples is very widespread. 

Different kinds of submissiveness and dominance

While this is an important ingredient in many kinks, being submissive or dominant overall is something many people are into in different forms. 

Examples of sub/dom sex types are taking orders from your partner or getting humiliated, but it can also be edging. 

Roleplaying

It’s extremely usual to get turned on by building a scenario, enter roles and then play it out during intimacy. This can be everything from a hitchhiker getting picked up and paying for the ride with sex, to you two playing that you’re on a first date together, and everything in between.

Interested in learning more? Then check out my 101 to explore roleplaying!

Getting turned on by specific clothes and attributes

To be into high heels, leather, fishnet, red lipstick, used underwear, feet, perfume, a soft voice, hair or something completely different that’s not usually sexually loaded is extremely common.

When it comes to fetishes, it can be literally anything, and you’ll never be alone with it, no matter how odd your fetish might feel. 

Impact play

This is when one partner is struck by the other, for example, through spanking with a whip or even just with a hand. I’m sure many of you have tried without even knowing it counts as a kink! 

Exhibitionism

This kink is to enjoy being watched, either during sex, when masturbating or when being naked or getting undressed. 

BDSM

BDSM stands for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism, and is an umbrella term for many types of sex that most easily are described as “non-vanilla”, and of which many kinks and fetishes in this list are a part of. 

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