Read on to find out which one rings true for you…
BY SOFIE ROOS, IMAGE BY DIVERSIFY LENS/CANVA
Most of us know about love languages, but did you know that there are also different sex languages which describe different ways people enjoy intimacy?
I’m Sofie Roos, a licensed sexologist and relationship therapist, as well as author for the Swedish sex and relationship magazine Passionerad. This is my guide to all the languages, and why you should bother learning yours and your partner’s!Â
The desire sex language
People who use this sex language find it very important to feel desired. They enjoy a partner who chases a little and puts in effort to attract. Flirty text messages, compliments, initiatives and other things that make you feel lusted for and appreciated really put you in the mood.
The pleasure sex language
If you love giving your partner pleasure, get super turned on by understanding what they enjoy, like to discover sex with focus on their satisfaction, and find it better to make them lose themselves in moans and desire than getting stimulated yourself, well, then you have the pleasure sex language!
The acceptance sex language
You want to feel vulnerable, open up and be fully accepted, both in and outside of bed, and the sex becomes fully meaningful first when you feel loved for who you are, with all your quirks and flaws. When you have this with your partner, it creates a feeling of safety that makes both the emotional and physical intimacy so much deeper!Â
The fun sex language
A person with a fun sex language enjoys a spontaneous, unexpected and playful vibe during intimacy. These people like to try new things, they are experimental, and if something goes wrong, they would rather laugh at it than find it to be awkward!Â
The patience sex language
If you highly value trust, gentle sex and that both of you are in the moment, and you prefer that things take time, and enjoy building up the sex for long instead of quick satisfaction, then you’re speaking the patience sex language.
Building up intimacy without stress is your melody, so you love long foreplay, and often, they start even outside of bed, such as with an intimate dinner or conversation.Â
Why bother learning about these?
Learning about your sex language makes you understand what elements you need to be able to have the best sex, and when also knowing what sex language your partner has, it suddenly becomes so much easier to get each other’s view on great sex, which takes the intimacy to the next level!
We’re often a combination of many
Most people are a combination of two or three sex languages, with one dominant. So wanting acceptance can, for example, overlap with wanting patience.
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