This time of year can feel especially lonely when you’re going through it solo. But it doesn’t have to be that way…
BY SOFIE ROOS, IMAGE BY GOODFACES/UNSPLASH
Cuffing season is here. It’s the time of year when many singles are looking for someone to partner up with during the cold months, simply to get through the winter blues. But what if you’re a single sapphic who’s not into finding someone just to be able to beat the coldness and darkness?
I’m Sofie Roos, a Swedish based sexologist and relationship therapist, as well as author for the Swedish relationship and sex positive online magazine Passionerad. I’m here to guide all you sapphics on how to survive and thrive during this season.
Create routines and date yourself
Instead of investing time, money, energy and curiosity in someone else, do it with yourself!
You can partake in some self-love by creating a routine for yourself. This could be reading a book every evening with a cup of tea, cooking a nice meal and watching a series a few times a week. It could be to paint or write for yourself, or take longer baths or listen to new albums.
Having spontaneous solo dates is also a great way to spend this season. Bring that book to a café, take long walks in parks or areas you haven’t been in before, have a beer at a new pub and bring a notebook to write a love letter to yourself in, or go thrift shopping.
Dating yourself and doing fun things on your own will give you time to reflect and make you learn lots of things about who you are. This will make the cuffing season a period for self-growth!
Spend time within the sapphic community
Attend queer events, go to queer clubs or bars, have dinners or game nights with sapphic friends, or engage in different queer communities online and in real life to get a better relationship with other sapphics.
Finding community will, for many, make it easier to get through the autumn and winter. It’s also a great way to strengthen one’s identity and feeling of belonging.
Invest in a new hobby
Cuffing season is a perfect time of the year to get busy with a new hobby. Have you always wanted to dip your toes into knitting, mastering an instrument or playing a new sport? Now’s your time to do it!
Focusing on learning something new often makes the time go faster, and then suddenly it’s spring again, and you leave winter with a new skill.
Try to embrace and take advantage of being single
It’s easy to take the freedom for granted when you have been single for some time. I encourage every sapphic without a partner to enjoy being spontaneous during cuffing season.
Take that spontaneous trip, go down to the pub when your friend calls, sit up and watch one more episode of that series, hit the club if you get in the mood, or go visit your parents when you start to miss them out of nowhere.
There’s no reason not to follow your impulses just because it’s cold and dark outside. So, go live your life and enjoy not needing to answer to any partner.
Do things that make you feel good
Last but not least, try to focus on the things that give you energy, something you can do by writing down the things you enjoy in life. Then look at that list and remind yourself to do as many things as you can, and find alternative ways of doing them if the season makes it difficult. Maybe you can’t hit the beach, but you can go to a spa, or you can’t go hiking, but you can go for a road trip and so on!
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