
Licensed sexologist and relationship therapist Sofie Roos explores how getting intimate can improve our sleep quality
IMAGE BY CANVA/GETTY IMAGES
Have you noticed that you fall asleep much faster (and many times sleep much better) if you have sex before hitting the pillow?
I’m Sofie Roos, a licensed sexologist and relationship therapist, as well as author for Passionerad – a Swedish-based online magazine about sex and relationships. Here, I’ll describe why you actually sleep better after getting intimate.
Can sex and orgasms help someone to fall asleep?
Yes, sex, and especially sex resulting in orgasm, helps us to crash in bed more easily. But why?
Well, when orgasming, the brain releases oxytocin into our bloodstream.The oxytocin, also known as the “love hormone”, not only makes us feel in love, but also gives a feeling of calmness and safety, which has a positive impact on our sleep.
This is one of the reasons why so many sapphics like to masturbate or climax through sex before bedtime, because it puts us to sleep more easily!
What about sex without orgasm?
Oxytocin is released all the time during sex, especially when being with someone we love or have some meaningful emotional connection to, so we do get the positive effects on our sleep from getting intimate with our partner, even if not reaching all the way, even though we won’t feel fully as relaxed, calm and tired afterwards as when after getting an orgasm.
Is getting busy in the bedsheets before sleep a good idea for everyone?
Actually, no! For some people, having sex right before hitting the pillow does make it more difficult to fall asleep, mainly since the increase in heart rate and adrenaline during arousal can linger, making it tricky to calm down – so, it’s individual whether or not they like to get intimate before dozing off. If you’re one of those people, your sleep can still benefit from having it earlier in the day.
Sex also affects the quality of sleep you’re getting
It can indirectly give us greater sleep quality since it makes us deal with stress in a better way, and if we are less stressed, we get a less restless sleep.
If you want the positive effects, do it often…
We mainly get the positive effects from sex and masturbation on our sleep if we engage in it regularly, since it’s when we’re having an active sex life that we get less stressed and better sleep quality.
If having regular sex, or masturbating often, the levels of cortisol also decrease, a stress hormone that can disturb sleep quality. It’s just as with exercising – we don’t get the positive effects from doing it just occasionally, but it needs to be something that happens often.
DIVA magazine celebrates 31 years in print in 2025. If you like what we do, then get behind LGBTQIA+ media and keep us going for another generation. Your support is invaluable.
