Licensed sexologist Sofie Roos offers up a beginner’s guide to sapphic-friendly roleplay
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Are you a sapphic looking to introduce roleplay into your sex life but not knowing where to start? Well, then this 101 guide is for you!
I’m Sofie Roos, a licensed sexologist, relationship therapist and author at Passionerad – a Swedish magazine about sex, intimacy and relationships. I’m here to guide you through some examples of beginner-friendly roleplays to try out with your partner, as well as how to stay safe while doing it!
5 sapphic-friendly roleplay ideas for newbies
Strangers needing to share a hotel room
Pretend that you’re two strangers who have never met before, and that you need to share a hotel room due to overbooking. This is extra realistic if booking a hotel room, and you go down to the bar for a drink or a meal together to “get to know each other” before spending the night in the same bed.
Meet as if you don’t know each other
Another take on this is that you pick a bar to meet up at – and you will pretend that you met on a dating app, and this is your first date, or that you spot each other in the bar and start flirting. Then, if everything goes right, you take this “stranger” home.
Use an unrealistic strap-on
Invest in a fantasy strap-on and then make up a scenario around that. There are plenty of options available for all kinds of fetishes and interests!
Pizza delivery
This is another classic roleplay. The one ordering doesn’t have any money and offers to pay in another way, and you know the rest…
Use an old pizza box, get dressed in a way that you think fits a delivery person, and then simply ring the bell for your partner to open.
Psychologist and client
Pretend that one of you is a psychologist, and the client lies there on the sofa and tells you how bad they are doing because they’re so sexually frustrated, and one thing leads to another…
How to make the roleplay as good as possible
Go for it
Roleplaying will not turn out great if you don’t go all in, so put your heart in it and give your characters a real chance. This will feel weird and tricky in the beginning, but you’ll learn by doing!
Pro tip: If it feels embarrassing to live out the roleplay at first, then start out by talking about it. To make up a scenario in your fantasy together can be just as hot!
Pick an environment you’re comfortable with
To be able to go all out as your character, you must be in an environment where you feel safe, so talk with your partner about where they would like to explore roleplaying.
Start out slowly
No need to rush anything! It’s better to start carefully and get a feel for it before doing something too advanced or hardcore, so take one step at a time. It’s better to want to do more than to want to have something undone.
Plan the scene
Always talk about your expectations, what you’d like and not like to do and what order things will happen. A common misconception is that roleplaying is all spontaneous. There are always rules to follow, and it’s only by first knowing your partner’s boundaries that you can improvise.
Have a safe word and communicate all the time
Having a safe word is key. That way, you can signal to your partner that you’d like it to stop, and that it’s not your character speaking. A safe word should be easy to remember and not something you normally say. When someone calls it, the roleplaying stops immediately.
Make sure to check in on each other during the ride, such as doing a thumbs up or a small nod to confirm that everything feels great.
Have aftercare
To take care of each other after a roleplay session is extremely important. Talk about how it felt and be supportive. Doing something, such as taking a walk, can help you get out of character.
It’s okay to “fail”
Last but not least – remember that there are no rights and wrongs. So it’s not the end of the world if it turns out not to be as sexy as you thought it would be. Laugh at it, and give it another try when you feel like it.
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