Everyone wants to become a great smoocher. But how do you learn to give the passionate kisses that we see in the movies?
BY SOFIE ROOS, IMAGE BY RDNE STOCK PROJECT/PEXELS
There are so many great onscreen sapphic kisses. But if you’re an LGBTQIA+ woman or non-binary person who has yet to experience this level of passionate or romantic kissing, you might be wondering if there’s anything you can do to experience your very own movie-worthy smooch.
I’m Sofie Roos, a licensed sexologist and relationship therapist, as well as author for the Swedish online magazine Passionerad, which covers sex and relationships. I want to give all you DIVAs out there the keys to level up your kissing game – so you can go from average to unforgettable, becoming that dreamy kisser whose lips no one will ever forget!
Be in the moment and try not to overthink things
Some people tend to overthink kissing when trying to get better at it, which is counterproductive since that just makes you stiff and unable to let the moment take you where it feels natural, which is such a big part of a great makeout.
Therefore, instead, try to be as much in the moment as you can. A great kiss cannot be planned – you create it on the spot together.
Slowing down makes you a better kisser
Letting things take time is a skill that everyone who wants to become a better kisser must master. Doing so will make your kisses become more passionate and intense.
It also gives you more time to understand your partner and better chances to meet in your kissing styles. Making out is like a dance where you need to be responsive to each other, so giving yourself time to feel your partner will up your game.
Since the lips are one of the most sensitive erogenous zones, we benefit from slowing things down if wanting to make it as pleasurable as possible.
Practising is your best friend
Unfortunately, there are no shortcuts, and you won’t go and become a great kisser overnight. So, allow yourself to be a beginner and to “fail” sometimes – don’t let any weird kissing experiences stop you from trying new things and evolving.
Show that you really want to kiss them
One of my best pieces of advice is to make your partner feel wanted and desirable by kissing them almost as if you were curious about their lips, and as if you were tasting them for the first time. So, don’t be stiff and reserved.
What about the tongue?
If you have chemistry, inviting your partner to some tongue kissing often feels like a natural next step to take – so, carefully stick out your tongue, and if you meet theirs, then let it evolve!
Be soft, make sure you brushed your tongue this morning, and use the tongue delicately. While wet, passionate and intense tongue kissing can be the hottest thing ever, that always needs to be something you build up together and “ease” into, so less is often more in the beginning of the tongue session.
Don’t forget to use your hands
Lay a hand on their cheek, drag it through their hair, touch them on the side of the ribs, hug, or gently touch their neck. Using your hands makes the kiss more alive and pleasurable, so try to discover parts of their body while kissing, and let your bodies melt together – not only your lips!
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