If you’re a “baby gay” and you’ve seen some of these terms of dating apps and wonder what they mean, we’re here to help you!
BY SOFIE ROOS, IMAGE BY CANVA
Are you a queer woman or non-binary person? Well, then you should definitely learn some sapphic slang!
I’m Sofie Roos, a bisexual licensed sexologist, relationship therapist and author for the Swedish relationship magazine Passionerad. And right now, I’m here to guide you through some lesbian lingo to get you started on some of the many terms people in our community use.
Butch: This is a lesbian or sapphic with a masculine presentation.
Femme: A lesbian or sapphic with feminine presentation.
Futch: A woman with feminine features, but with a butch swagger or demeanor (or vice versa!).
Lipstick lesbian: Another word to describe a feminine sapphic.
Chapstick lesbian: Another term to describe a lesbian that’s between a butch and a femme.
Top: Someone who prefers taking a more active and dominant role during sex.
Bottom: Someone who prefers a more submissive role in the bedroom.
Stud: A masculine lesbian/sapphic within the African American community (or who’s Black).
Stem/stud-fem: A lesbian/sapphic within the African American community (or who’s Black) that’s both masculine and feminine.
Gaydar: How good someone is at spotting a queer person. “I have such a great gaydar…”
Baby gay: Someone who just came out as queer.
Baby dyke/baby butch: A very boyish looking and acting lesbian or sapphic who’s young. Can sometimes be the sapphic version of the gay slang “twink”, but can also refer to a young butch without much experience with women.
A hundred footer: Someone that’s so obviously sapphic that you can spot ’em from a hundred feet away.
Twat swat: The lesbian equivalent of cock block. “Hey, why did you twat swat me…?!”
Stone dyke: A sapphic woman who enjoys giving sexual pleasure but who doesn’t want to be touched during intimacy. Stone butch is often used instead if this woman is a butch.
LBD: Short for “lesbian bed death”, which is when you’re in a relationship of any sort and the sex just dies.
Girl crush: When a woman who identifies as heterosexual has a crush on a woman.
Scissoring: When you rub your vaginas against each other by spreading your legs and “dock” together.
U-Haul: A lesbian who falls for their partner so badly that she rents an U-Haul (which’s a truck used for moving), packs up her stuff in it, and then moves in directly. In other words: a U-Haul gay commits really fast!
Wingqueer: A queer “wing man”.
OWL: Short for “older wiser lesbian”. For example, “She’s an OWL…”
Why bother to learn this slang?
Knowing about and using sapphic slang can help you to understand other queer women and non-binary people better, such as how they identify or what they’re looking for, both IRL and on dating apps.
Using queer and lesbian slang can also make you feel more belonging to the community and help you build a stronger identity as a sapphic. So it’s not only fun to know about queer lingo, it can also help you to bond and communicate!
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