Comedian Alex Stringer discusses why we need more sober spaces in the LGBTQIA+ community
BY ALEX STRINGER, BY REBECCA NEED-MENEAR
I first went to a gay bar when I was 18. I spent a lot of time in gay bars and “wet places” which are places that serve alcohol. And then I got sober at 23.
Feel like for years I’ve not really been to many queer events due to them mainly taking place in spaces that serve alcohol, or if I do, it’s fleeting, or I don’t feel super comfortable. I think for a while, it made me feel “othered” which is a common feeling when you stop drinking, but is something you can already feel as a queer person in a heteronormative society. Made me feel almost less queer as I could no longer Kiki with the drag queens in the smoking area of the club. It took me six months to even learn to go out on a night out again, and even then it involved a lot of me going home early and crying because I couldn’t hack it. It’s this FOMO that makes people start drinking again too, because they feel like their life is over without drinking.
I love our community but I don’t find we’re very good at organising non-drinking events. There are some spaces that are more queer adjacent than others, but sadly I don’t like rock climbing. I wish I did! As a stand-up comedian, my job almost always is in places that serve alcohol and I feel like a hypocrite saying this, but I’m sometimes grateful, as, with inhibitions lowered, people laugh louder. But it’s also not uncommon for the comedians I work alongside to suffer with their mental health and substance abuse too. It’s hard when two big parts of my life, my job and my sexuality, force me into places that don’t make me all too comfortable but I’ve got more choice with the one that doesn’t pay my bills.
I’ve got a lot of queer friends, so we do spend time in spaces together regularly, however it would be nice for queer events to be non-alcohol-related. Especially since “LGBTQIA+ individuals experience higher rates of alcohol misuse and related harms compared to the general population, with increased risks of binge drinking and alcohol dependence. This higher prevalence is often linked to minority stress, mental health challenges, and experiences of discrimination.” There is hope though, as there always is! Where I’m from in Liverpool, I’m lucky I think! Lavender Nights run “lesbians and FLINTA socials for queers in Liverpool” they’re trying to do different non-drinking events like a queer night market, for the makers amongst us and a sports day, for the sporty amongst us. There is also Homotopia, a Liverpool-based charity and organisation that runs a year round programme of events and more specifically, an annual arts festival. Of which I’ve seen lots of great work from Liverpool-based creatives. I’m super lucky that I live in a city that embraces queerness separate from alcohol but I’d love to see more and more of this happening elsewhere too.
Gen Z especially seem to be embracing sobriety or are sober-curious, so I believe that the future queer youth could make this more common. I look forward to feeling & benefitting from the ripples made by them and others in embracing alcohol-free queer events!
Alex Stringer’s debut stand up show Happy Hour will be at the Pleasance Courtyard Bunker 3 at 6 pm for the entire fringe for tickets go to www.edfringe.com
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