“We’re complex people living in difficult times, and the best thing you could do is truly see us as full human beings, just like anyone else”
BY FLORENCE OULDS, IMAGE BY PATRICK PERKINS
Things are really tough for trans and non-binary people in the UK right now. When rollbacks of our rights are happening on such a massive scale, it can be hard as an ally to know the best way to help fight those big structural issues while still supporting the trans people in your life as individuals.
Here are three suggestions of how you can help our community as an ally, and use your voice for good…
Email your representatives
If you’ve got five minutes, then you can send an email to your MP (and/or MSPs and MSs, if you live in Scotland or Wales) about the Supreme Court decision.
The Scottish Trans website (scottishtrans.org) will help you find your representatives and give you ideas about what you can say to them – but the more personal you make your message, the more likely it is to have an impact.
While they won’t always take your side, it can be powerful to give your representative an insight into what their constituents think about an issue, and share your lived experience with them. This helps ground abstract political debates in fact, and reminds them that real people’s rights are at stake.
Help open people’s minds
While some people are already allies (and some are very much not!) lots of people are actually somewhere in the middle. They might not be quite sure what to think, or just believe the last thing they heard about trans people – which is most likely to be negative.
These are the people who it’s most helpful to spend time talking to, not those who are vocally opposed. Even if someone doesn’t quite get it or says things that aren’t ideal, try and cut them some slack. Nobody changes their mind after just one chat, but we’ve all met people who have said things that opened our eyes, and started the journey of understanding that led us to where we are today.
People are more likely to listen to you on trans issues than they are to us, and you can use this power to help make the world around you – your friends, family, or colleagues – a little friendlier.
Be thoughtful when “checking in”
Conventional social media wisdom is that when something bad has happened, you should “check in” with people who might be affected.
While this is generally good advice, it can feel quite artificial to suddenly get lots of identical messages from friends when you’re trying to process difficult emotions, and like you have to perform a certain kind of response: “No need to worry about me!”
If you want to make sure a trans friend is okay in light of whatever the most recent horror may be, speak to them as you normally would, and give them space to feel a whole range of emotions – joy, anger, sadness, grief.
We’re complex people living in difficult times, and the best thing you could do is truly see us as full human beings, just like anyone else.
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