“The representation of Tara and Darcy as a lesbian couple helped me to find comfort in the label lesbian”
BY IONA SAUNDERS, IMAGES BY NETFLIX
Heartstopper is a beautiful depiction of queer joy that explores the many different journeys of LGBTQIA youth as they navigate life and love. From the webcomics and graphic novels to the hit Netflix series, the Heartstopper universe holds a very special place in the hearts of its millions of fans all over the world, especially LGBTQIA young people.
For me, Heartstopper is more than just a queer coming of age story. It changed my life and helped me to come out to my loved ones, twice.
In 2022, I was approaching the end of Year 11 at a school that fostered a discriminatory learning environment full of anti-LGBTQIA sentiments, which were only compounded by a lack of inclusive teaching. I knew that I was queer from a young age, but I didn’t have the vocabulary to define my feelings and had never seen any relatable characters in mainstream media.
Until the age of 16, the few gay characters I had seen in films were stereotypically feminine gay men; their characters were underdeveloped and only ever the subject of homophobic jokes, or the victim of a tragedy related to their sexuality. While raising awareness of events like the HIV/AIDS crisis is very important, it can be frightening as a young person to only ever see your sexuality portrayed as something that negatively impacts a person’s life.
My local libraries never displayed queer literature, so I first discovered Heartstopper after seeing the highly positive reviews of the TV show online. I saw this as an opportunity to engage my family and friends in positive queer media to start navigating conversations around my own sexuality. While watching the first series in two days with my mum, I started conversations surrounding the topics raised in each episode and when I did feel ready to come out, I was welcomed with the positivity and acceptance I had always hoped for.
Watching the series with my mum allowed me to assess the reception of my coming out, which is something that lots of queer people struggle with, especially in the current social climate. Many families simply don’t talk about LGBTQIA issues unless prompted. This makes it hard for young LGBTQIA people to assess which environments are safe spaces to come out in, and this personally took a toll on my mental health.
The representation of Tara and Darcy as a lesbian couple helped me to find comfort in the label lesbian and, upon reflection, seeing the normalisation of their relationship and identities had a significant impact on the early acceptance of my own sexuality.
Despite feeling confident in my identity, I couldn’t ignore the detachment I felt from the queer and lesbian community due to the lack of sexual attraction I felt towards everyone, including women.
There was, and still is, so little representation that I had never even heard of the term “asexual”. That was until the second series of Heartstopper began to focus on Isaac as an aro-ace character. For the second time, the series was the first positive portrayal I’d come across of young people experiencing the same things as me, at the same point in their lives.
Throughout my life, I’ve often been dismissed as “too young to know” when it comes to being LGBTQIA, but Heartstopper has shown many people that LGBTQIA teenagers exist and can be confidently proud of their identity. I have found that I have had more positive coming out experiences with people who have seen the show and to whom I didn’t have to always explain my identity, especially my asexuality.
The difference this representation made was huge. On my 17th birthday, I remember feeling so lost and lonely because I couldn’t explain my asexuality. By my following birthday, I was not only proudly out to my family, but they were actively learning about and celebrating my identity. This meant the world to me and it was all I had ever dreamed of growing up, but it wouldn’t have been possible without Heartstopper giving me the confidence to finally embrace my true self.
Now, as a Just Like Us Ambassador, I speak to young people in schools, and I always incorporate Heartstopper into my school talks as part of my story. It’s always met with smiles from pupils in the audience, and afterwards many of them share with me that the show has had a hugely positive impact on their lives too, while others were excitedly learning about it for the first time, both of which are very wholesome to see.
Heartstopper entered my life at just the right moment in my personal journey and I am eternally grateful for how the first two series have shaped my future as a proud asexual lesbian.
As series three approaches, I feel more optimistic about my future as an LGBTQIA young person than ever before. I feel safe in the knowledge that how I currently identify doesn’t have to be set in stone, things can change as I continue to grow as a queer person but shows like Heartstopper are helping to create a world where I can happily be queer. A world that I have always wanted to live in, which is the most beautiful thing.
Iona is an ambassador for Just Like Us, the LGBT+ young people’s charity. Just Like Us needs LGBT+ ambassadors aged 18-25 to speak in schools – sign up now.
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