“Just because both identities, LGBTQIA and disabled, are minority groups does not mean that they always understand and are accepting of one another”
BY SARAH STEPHENSON-HUNTER, IMY BRIGHTY-POTTS, IMAGE BY DORIZ MEDIA
Disability Pride Month (1 – 31 July) continues to be an opportunity to explore the intersections and challenges faced by LGBTQIA disabled folks. One woman who has extensive experience of knowledge of those experiences is Sarah Stephenson-Hunter (52) a blind, trans lesbian who advocates for equity and inclusion for members of both communities. She told journalist Imy Brighty-Potts what she wishes people understood.
Disabled trans people exist
It sounds simple. But we are here, we exist in all walks of life, and the two identities are not mutually exclusive. Interestingly, people will stare at me, I thought they were staring because I am trans, I am a tall woman when they are looking at the white cane and my squished eyes.
I think being blind actually shields me from being persecuted for being trans a lot of the time. It can be a cover and a curse. They see me as disabled, so I couldn’t possibly be anything else.
We want to have sex too, and we can want a lot of it
Disabled people are often completely desexualised. We are still sexual beings who can want sex, be interested in pursuing those sexual relationships, particularly queer ones. Being blind does not stop me from wanting to feel sexy and wanted, nor does being trans.
At the same time however, trans women are often overly sexualised, treated as perverts by TERFs and treated as a caricature of femininity. We want to have the same choices and options to be sexual, the assumptions made about trans women and about blind people not caring what partners look like are totally wrong.
I have had to work hard to re-establish my relationship with my body since coming out as trans, and it is even harder not being able to see it. I want to enjoy it and all the opportunities for pleasure my authentic self affords me.
I am lucky that I am very attracted to personalities but I still have things I find aesthetically attractive, just because I can’t see someone.
We seek relationships, we are in relationships. People assume my partner Che is a relative, a carer, or a friend. Their first guess is never that they are my spouse or partner. We may be in a relationship, but god forbid it be a queer one.
The queer community can be ableist, and the disabled community can be homophobic, transphobic and biphobic
Just because both identities, LGBTQIA and disabled, are minority groups does not mean that they always understand and are accepting of one another. Homophobia and ableism run through both groups and the spaces they inhabit. There are complex interplaying factors that impact both identities and can leave people vulnerable.
We are stronger together campaigning for equality and encouraging each other – no matter our identity or disability – to be completely and authentically ourselves. Existing as disabled people and as LGBTQIA people is inherently a challenge, our identities are constantly being undermined – our existence is our resistance.
It is not just about straight and cis people understanding our needs nor is it about just non-disabled people understanding our needs, it is about mutual respect and understanding for each other.
Trans lesbians exist
There are many misconceptions out there about gender-nonconforming people and sexuality, one of which is that gender identity and sexuality are inherently linked. This heteronormative attitude can leave many assuming trans women cannot be lesbians because they were assigned male at birth.
This dangerous rhetoric, often peddled by trans-exclusionary feminists leaves trans women isolated and treated as a risk to lesbian identity and safety, which is incredibly upsetting.
We want to have access to queer spaces – but often can’t
Few queer spaces are primarily for lesbians as it is, and some can feel trans-exclusionary, but as a disabled lesbian, it can be even more limiting. We just want to have the same access to spaces but also the same attitudes towards access.
We deserve spaces to express ourselves too. A growing number of lesbian spaces are prioritising access now which is great. I haven’t been to them myself but I know Big Queer Picnic and Pop Up Dyke Bar are two events that try and push for better access.
Find out more about Simply Equality here: simplyequality.com.
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