After her exit from the new BBC Three dating series, we caught up with the footballer to find out more about her time on the show
BY ELLA GAUCI, IMAGE BY BBC THREE
Over the weekend, sapphic audiences everywhere said goodbye to some of our favourite singletons on the new BBC Three dating show I Kissed A Girl. One of those was footballer Lailah, who captured audiences’ hearts and minds with her approach to dating and love. After ending things with Amy, Lailah decided to choose herself rather than continue to date on the show, going home with her head held high.
Hosted by Dannii Minogue, I Kissed A Girl has basically taken over the whole of the sapphic world. The groundbreaking new series has seen a whole swarm of single girls enter the Masseria in the hopes of finding love.
After leaving the Masseria, we caught up with Lailah to find out more about her time on the show.
We have been loving the show here at DIVA! Why did you choose to sign up for I Kissed A Girl?
The opportunity came up at the end of summer for me. It was a “let’s just go for it” moment. When I started going through the process of it, I began to realise that it was more than just a show. There’s so much reality TV out there, but one that just represents queer women isn’t there in the UK. I realised that it was going to be far bigger than anything that I’d ever been a part of.
The show has been so impactful already. When you were going on the show, did you think about the impact it would have after it was aired?
It did cross my mind, but I didn’t realise how big it would be. The number that it’s reached is insane. People all over the world are watching this! Even if people can only watch snippets of the show, they can still see themselves and it’s such a beautiful thing.
You came on the show as one of the new girls. What was going through your head when you were walking out to meet the other girls?
It was so surreal. I think I blacked out a bit! I was just concentrating on just walking and not tripping over – I didn’t want to give any of those girls the ick. It felt like such a safe space which is rare to find. It was surreal and overwhelming but really exciting.
You do quite a lot of self-reflection on the show. What do you think you learnt about yourself?
I learnt that I definitely move at a different pace from some people. I think in the queer community it’s quite stereotypical that we move lightyears ahead. That’s fine if that works for you, but it’s also fine if it doesn’t. You should just go at your own pace. If your heart isn’t fully in it, you shouldn’t do it.
One of the moments that really sticks out to me is the conversation between you and some of the other girls about being bi. Why is that representation so important to have on TV?
On the spectrum of sexuality, you have the two ends, and then everyone in the middle gets forgotten a little bit. Or dismissed and disregarded. People don’t realise that we have figured our sexuality out. For us, we love who we love. It’s just about the person, not what gender they are. I hope people watched that conversation and realised that they are normal. They are perfectly fine. I wish I would have had that growing up. If I’d seen that conversation when I was young, I would have realised I was bi so much sooner.
Another really powerful moment is your conversation with Priya about growing up in Wales. Could you tell us a bit more about your experiences growing up?
I didn’t feel comfortable at all in my own sexuality. It started when I was really young. I remember in school “gay” or “lesbian” would be seen as an insult. When you see other people using who you are as an insult – whether they mean it or not – it hurts every time you hear it. That continued as I got older. When we’d walk past gay clubs and bars you’d hear random people make comments. Although they don’t know they’re talking about me, they are talking about me. And it hurts the same.
Having that conversation with Priya helped me a lot more than I thought it would. Looking back, I am ashamed that I felt that internalised homophobia. But letting it out releases so much. The amount of gay clubs I’ve been to since the show is insane! I always have the best time. It’s such a safe place to be.
The reaction to the show has been overwhelming. That must be nuts. What’s it been like seeing the reaction?
It’s been really sweet! The wholesome messages really get to me. Especially people that you can tell haven’t spoken about their identity that much before. That’s amazing. They are the messages that I tend to respond to. We’ve done the show for them. The amount of good that the show has brought has been really overwhelming for us but in the best way.
The most recent Kiss Off was really powerful, especially when you choose yourself. What was going through your head when you decided that was the decision you were going to make?
It was a difficult decision because a lot of people saw potential in my relationship with Thea. We got on so well – Thea is an amazing person! Even in real life, you can be pushed into something that you know deep down you’re not in it, or you’re not ready for. Just because you have the opportunity to do something, doesn’t mean you should necessarily do it just because you can. You need to consider yourself and understand that another person is on the line.
I knew at that point that if I committed to kissing Thea it wasn’t just kissing Thea then. It would mean in a couple of days I would be meeting her family and committing to going into the real world with her. I didn’t want to lead her on. As much as I love Thea as a person, I knew that the romantic connection wasn’t fully there.
It’s so amazing to see you advocating for yourself.
I think a lot of people didn’t realise it was an option. Em paved the way for us. Like in the real world, you can stay single. You can put yourself first. And that sometimes is the better and more powerful option. Sometimes you are the first choice and you should go with yourself.
Reflecting on your time on the show, what were some of your favourite bits about being on I Kissed A Girl?
It’s crazy that even though we were surrounded by cameras, it was one of the first times in my life that I didn’t feel insecure about my body. I wasn’t worried about sitting at certain angles or about what I was wearing. None of that crossed my mind. It was the first time I was in a space where I felt that comfortable. We all hyped each other up and made each other feel so beautiful.
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