DIVA sat down with the first girl to leave the show to find out all about being a “baby gay” on the BBC Three series
BY ELLA GAUCI, IMAGE BY BBC
Sapphic audiences of the new BBC Three dating show I Kissed A Girl watched on the edge of their seats last Sunday (12 May) as Naee had to make the tricky choice between staying with her partner Priya or coupling up with her new flame Demi. Eventually, Naee chose to stay with Priya, and Demi was the first girl to leave the Masseria.
Hosted by none other than Dannii Minogue, I Kissed A Girl has seen a whole bunch of sapphic singles enter the Italian Masseria in the hopes of finding love. Demi was initially paired with drummer Fiorenza but soon had her head turned by Naee.
DIVA caught up with Demi after her exit to find out about her time on the groundbreaking new show.
In the first episode, you say that you are a “baby gay”. Why did you sign up for the show initially?
If I’m being honest I signed up as a joke! I didn’t think I’d get through. Going through the process I realised that I wanted a big group of queer friends. I wanted to meet more queer people. I felt unstable in my queer identity. There was a lot happening so I thought it would be a good experience to get in there and figure some things out. I hadn’t been able to experience [my queerness] properly. It was a trial by fire.
Your first kiss is with Fiorenza, but things didn’t go completely to plan after… What was it like going for that first kiss?
The first kiss was great! It looks very intimate and romantic watching it back. It was when I decided to open my mouth – for speaking not kissing – that I got myself in trouble. Fiorenza is a gorgeous girl, and I had never met anyone who looked like her before. To overcompensate and not fade into the background I was just speaking and not really listening to what I was saying. I would just blurt things out to fill the silences. By the second day, I found my footing!
How do you think the experience on the show helped you to realise things about yourself?
I think it was through watching the other couples and how they interacted. I hadn’t spent 72 hours with queer couples before. It was really nice to see the way roles disappear and how it’s just two beings coming together and being in love. Coming from only being in heteronormative relationships, you fall into these roles and stereotypes and it’s exhausting. It was what I was trying to escape from. Being on the show, I got to see a different type of love and it was beautiful. It made me feel a lot more courageous and open to fully being like that in a relationship.
We don’t often see people on TV figuring out their identity or seeing someone who has just come out. Why is that representation so important?
We do often see fully formed queer people. I think that people don’t understand that queerness isn’t always knowing who you are. There can be so much confusion with comp-het (compulsory heterosexuality) and society’s standards. I was really glad to show that you don’t have to be a fully formed queer person and know exactly what you want or who you are to be in this process.
As well, I think providing visibility for bisexual experiences is so important and not discounting our experiences. Before the show I was really worried that I wasn’t a “gold star lesbian” and that I’d only dated men, but I was met with so much love and acceptance.
How do you think a show like I Kissed A Girl would have impacted you growing up?
It would have shown me that it’s okay to not have experiences with women yet. If I’d watched that as a kid I would have realised that it was completely fine and normal. It doesn’t take away anything. I’m still a queer individual.
What’s it been like having other people watching the show?
It’s been so nice! I’m so grateful that people are resonating with it. I’ve had Black queer people from Hertfordshire messaging me saying that they didn’t know there were other people like them. People have also been saying thank you for representing awkward girls who don’t know how to flirt. I’m so grateful that people can watch me and realise that it’s okay to not have rizz.
DIVA magazine celebrates 30 years in print in 2024. If you like what we do, then get behind LGBTQIA media and keep us going for another generation. Your support is invaluable.
