We asked a queer sexologist to share her expert advice for sapphics longing to ramp up their libidos
BY SOFIE ROOS, IMAGE VIA CANVA
Is your libido getting in the way of your sex life? Don’t fret, there are many ways you can actively invest in your sex drive. The following tips and tricks can help you move toward a hornier life.
What you eat makes a difference
While no food magically makes you the most sex thirsty woman on earth, foods known as aphrodisiacs do exist. These types of foods have been documented as having a positive effect on libido. So, what counts as an aphrodisiac? Nuts, maca root, oysters, dark chocolate and saffrons. And no, that is not an exhaustive list.
Additionally, a 2020 study found that the Mediterranean diet has a positive impact on women’s libido.
So, by implementing some of these aphrodisiac ingredients into your diet, or by trying the Mediterranean diet, you can boost libido.Â
Physical activity is amazing
This study from 2025 looked at the correlation between pilates exercise and sexual function in women. It found that after 12 weeks, the women on the pilates program had more lust, got hornier and reported more orgasms.
It doesn’t have to be pilates or heavy running sessions. Just keep moving, either in or outside of the gym. The most important thing is that you find something you actually keep up with long-term.
Being able to handle stress is key
A new study from 2025 found that people who subjectively say they’re stressed also experience less interest in sex. This aligns well with my personal experience, as I would point out stress as one of the biggest thieves of lust.
It’s crucial to be able to deal with what stresses you, no matter if it’s identity stress, something at work or with your personal relationships. No matter what it is, it’s important you manage it if you don’t want it to impact your life in the bedroom.
Ask yourself what stresses you, and why it goes so far that you get stressed over it. This makes it easier to see the solutions. If you have a partner, bringing it up with them can also make it easier to find solutions and work together to reduce each other’s stress.Â
Invest in communication around lust, desire and boundaries
What turns you on? What are you longing to try? What are your boundaries when it comes to being intimate? These are all important things to discuss with your partner/s when it comes to having sex. Having open and honest communication tends to relieve stress as it makes it feel safer and easier, which leads to a better ability to relax and bond on a deeper emotional level.
I’ll leave you with this: If you want to make the biggest difference to your sex drive, combine many of these and do it regularly
Sofie Roos is a licensed sexologist, relationship therapist and author at Swedish sex positive magazine Passionerad.
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