An ambassador from Just Like Us reflects on the holidays
BY GEORGIA PEARSON, IMAGE BY GETTY IMAGES
For most people, the festive season comes with its own catalogue of expectations: the picture-perfect Christmas of roaring fires, overflowing gifts and families laughing in harmony. However, for LGBTQIA+ people spending the period with unsupportive people, it can be an intense and sometimes difficult time of year.
The importance of chosen families and prioritising them
A chosen family is a group of people not related by blood or marriage but bonded through shared values, experiences, struggles, love and support.
For LGBTQIA+ people, chosen families are an intrinsic part of our history. From ballroom houses to the networks formed during the AIDS crisis, queer communities have always created families where society denied them one.
Prioritising your chosen family can really help to cushion the blow of returning to unsupportive environments. Queer people can find themselves trapped with relatives who feel entitled to comment on their identities, sometimes with no warning and no way out.
Whilst you may love these relatives, it’s OK to feel frustrated when they make misinformed and judgmental comments about your identity, relationships or expression. Chosen family, on the other hand, is likely to understand your struggles and share your values, and keeping them close during the festive season can be a saving grace.
From a simple text which says “you’ve got this, see you on the other side” before returning to family dynamics to video calls and meeting up in person, make sure you plan your chosen family Christmas and reclaim the festive season in your own way, with your own traditions and festivities.
Queer joy as resistance
Carving out time for queer joy during the festive season is vital, and there is a huge range of ways, mostly free or low-cost, to maximise that joy with your chosen family:
- Host a board games night
- Go to a Christmas market
- Have an LGBTQIA+ film night
- Book a Christmas dinner in your area
- Volunteer together
- Attend LGBTQIA+ community events
LGBTQIA+ stories to bring to the fore this Christmas
Christmas is still marketed through a deeply heteronormative lens, from family roles to greeting cards and narratives in festive films, stemming from outdated ideas of “tradition” that don’t reflect the diversity of modern families.
Though inclusive festive films might be few and far between, there are a few warm, fuzzy and queer movies to be found.
The best LGBTQIA+ Christmas films to watch:
- Last Exmas (2024)
- The Holiday Sitter (2022)
- Single All The Way (2021)
- Happiest Season (2020)
- The Christmas Setup (2020)
- Let It Snow (2019)
Community resources, events and support
While cosy films and festive activities can spark queer joy, unsupportive environments can take a toll that requires more support. Need a safe space this Christmas? Here’s where you can access a judgement-free, in-person community events this festive season:
- LGBT Foundation in Manchester and Liverpool – view their events page now and get involved in a range of activities, from exhibitions to wellbeing groups and celebrations.
- London LGBTQ+ Community Centre in London – glance at their events page for more information and how you can join in with winter markets and their very own Christmas Eve dinner.
- Micro Rainbow in London, West Midlands and North-West – provides support for LGBTQIA+ asylum seekers and refugees
- Sparkle in Manchester – get involved with events such as their Festive Celebration with other charities such as the LGBT Foundation, George House Trust, akt and The Proud Trust.
If you or someone you know needs someone to talk to during the festive period, make sure to reach out and/or direct them to a support helpline.
- Switchboard LGBT+ Helpline – open 10 am to 10 pm every day of the year via phone on 0800 0119 100 or webchat on their website.
- Samaritans – 24/7 emotional support for anyone in distress, including over Christmas, call them on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org.
- Shout – 24/7 text messaging service for anyone in crisis. Text “SHOUT” to 85258.
- Galop – the UK’s LGBTQIA+ anti-abuse charity, supporting victims of hate crime, domestic abuse, sexual violence, etc. Call them on 0800 999 5428.
- Akt – supports LGBTQIA+ young people (aged 16-25) at risk of or experiencing homelessness. They have compiled a national spreadsheet with housing and support services available over the festive period on their website.
- MindOut – a mental health service run by and for LGBTQIA+ people. Their online chat service is available on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday afternoons over the Christmas period. View their support page here.
Let this Christmas be one where you protect your peace, celebrate your identity and surround yourself with the people who see you. Whether that means meeting with your chosen family, donating to LGBTQIA+ charities or simply sharing a safe space with someone who needs it. Queer joy is an act of community care, solidarity and resistance.
Georgia is an ambassador for Just Like Us, the LGBT+ young people’s charity. Donate now to bring hope, visibility and belonging to young LGBT+ people this festive season.
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