In this sapphic 101 guide, we asked a sexologist to give us an edu-gay-tion
BY SOFIE ROOS, IMAGE VIA CANVA
Are you interested in discovering kink and fetish sex? Well, then it’s a good idea to be clued up about the most common terms!
I’m Sofie Roos, a licensed sexologist and relationship therapist, as well as author at the Swedish online magazine Passionerad. In this article, I have listed the 15 most common terms within the kink and fetish community.
Kink – being into stuff that isn’t seen as vanilla, but is still sexualised by most, such as bondage, roleplaying or dominance and submissiveness.
Fetish – being fixated or turned on by something, such as a body part or activity, that’s not sexually loaded for most. It can for example be feet, high heels, leather, tattoos or underwear.
BDSM – Stands for “bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism” and is an umbrella term for many different sex forms that include power exchange, kinks, fetishes, roleplays and pain.
Dom (dominant) – The person being in the lead during kink sex, often by taking initiative, giving stimulation and/or commanding their partner.
Sub (submissive) – The person who’s following, giving away their control and/or obeying.
Mistress, dominatrix, domme/dom/domina/miss/ma’am – A female or femme who’s dominant over their submissive partner during BDSM sex.
Switch – Someone enjoying being both the dominant and submissive roles.
Roleplay – You enter roles and play out a scene/scenario which you have decided on beforehand. There are tons of different roleplays you can have, and two cliché ones are nurse/doctor and student/teacher.
Bondage – Controlling a partner’s ability to move, for example, by using ropes or handcuffs, often combined with giving them pleasure.
Fisting – Penetrating someone’s vagina or anus with your whole hand, and sometimes arm.
Power play/power exchange – One takes control and the other gives it away in different forms, such as by having bondage or roleplay.
CNC – Stands for “consensual non-consent” which is a form of kink sex where you roleplay scenarios without consent, but that you both have given consent to.
Safe word – A word that immediately stops the sex. It’s decided beforehand.
SSC – Stands for “safe, sane, consensual” and is a way of thinking around kink sex to make it stay safe.
RACK – Stands for “risk-aware consensual kink”, and means that everyone involved in kink sex, especially in BDSM, is aware of the potential risks and accepts them. It’s a way of keeping it safe!
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