This is the perfect way to turn up the heat on date nights
BY SOFIE ROOS
Using a remotely controlled vibrator in public with your partner might be one of the hottest things one can do. With that said, it can feel a bit tricky to get started.
I’m Sofie Roos, a Swedish-based sexologist and relationship therapist, as well as author for the Swedish relationship and sex positive online magazine Passionerad. And I’m here to help you welcome a world of pleasure into your next date night.
Pick the right vibrator
First off, you need a remotely controlled insertable vibrator. I highly recommend the model Lush 3 from Lovense, which is a vibrator that stimulates the G-spot and the clit at the same time. It’s also controlled via a user-friendly app!
Tiani 3 from LELO is also a good option for those wanting a very luxurious vibrator that’s controlled via a physical remote control and not an app.
Try the vibrator at home before going public. Get familiar with the settings, how to use it to reach climax and how to insert it pleasurably. Using water-based lube often makes it easier.
Decide on what to do beforehand
This is key to having a great vibrator sesh in public. This is what makes both of you feel secure about each other’s boundaries and what your partner is into. So go through what settings and intensity on the vibrator feel good and what environments you’re up for, as well as what doesn’t feel tempting. This will make both of you more able to relax and focus on the thrilling and pleasurable part!
Have a safe word/signal
Decide on a safe word or a signal that, if given, immediately stops the session and makes you leave the place you’re at.
Hot places to be at
So, finally, to the fun stuff! Some hot places I truly recommend using a vibrator at are:
- At a queer club/pub
- At a concert (the noise will mask the sound of the vibrator – perfect if you’re nervous about someone else hearing you!)
- While having a coffee at a café
- During a dinner at a restaurant
- While shopping
- During a bus, train or taxi ride
- At the gym
- While doing groceries
- When having a family dinner/meet-up
- When going to the movies or the theatre
Tips and tricks for making it as pleasurable as possible
Here’s some advice I have for making the experience as good as possible:
- Don’t be afraid of slowly building up the tension and taking breaks
- A thrilling part is using the vibrator in the most taboo situations, such as when your partner goes to the bar to order a drink or when they ask for help while shopping
- Read your partner’s body language and be responsive and respectful if it seems like they don’t find it joyful or aren’t able to hold the mask so much longer
- Swap who’s controlling and who’s wearing the vibrator, something you can even do during the same session by just visiting the bathroom
- Control vibrators for each other at the same time
- Use this as foreplay, and keep having sex when you come home
With that said – good luck, and be prepared to have a hard time not revealing how good you’re feeling for the people around you!
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