Being together for a long time doesn’t mean you need to say goodbye to a satisfying sex life
BY SOFIE ROOS
Have you and your boo been together for years and years, maybe even decades? Does your sex life feel laborious or completely dead to you? Are you looking to renew the intimacy between you and your love? Then you’re in the right place!
I’m Sofie Roos, a Swedish sexologist and relationship therapist, as well as author for the online publication Passionerad – a Swedish based relationship magazine. And I’m here to offer you my top expert tips.
Let’s talk about sex, baby!
The first step when wanting to rejuvenate your sex life after a long time together is to start talking about sex with each other.
Ask your partner about their fantasies, such as roleplays they’re interested in, sex toys they’d like to use and places they want to get intimate at. Let them tell you what they like the most in bed, what their needs are and if there’s something they think you could invest more energy in to get better at.
Talk openly, respectfully and be curious about each other, and never judge.
Shake things up by trying new stuff
Creating variation by investing time and energy in trying new things during intimacy will spark new life into your sex.
It can be literally anything, from having sex in new places, buying new underwear, changing the power dynamic, making a sex bucket list together, engaging in Tantra or using sex toys for couples. The options are limitless. It’s more about trying new things than it is about what you try.
Focus on intimacy rather than getting fixated on sex
This might sound a little fuzzy, but focusing on being intimate in whatever way feels natural is a great thing for people looking to revive their sex life.
It doesn’t have to be sex. It could be kisses, cuddling, taking a shower together or reading a sex novel for each other.
Try to make every day sexier
It’s not just about what happens in the bedroom. Your sex life lives every day in the small moments. Investing time and energy into creating a hot, fun and sexy atmosphere between you throughout the day will make a big change in how often you are both thinking about taking things to the bedroom.
Look after your wellbeing
A good sex life goes hand in hand with feeling well outside of bed, so try to minimise stress, find more time for physical activity and try to sleep more. This will not only allow you to take better care of yourself, but also the relationship by building better trust and communication.
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