There’s a lot of misinformation out there when it comes to sapphic sex and sexual health. Here’s the truth…
BY SOFIE ROOS, IMAGE BY CANVA/GETTY IMAGES
If you’re a queer woman or non-binary person who’s engaging in sex with other sapphics and you’re a bit confused about how to have safe sex, I don’t blame you. There’s a lot of misinformation out there.
I’m Sofie Roos, a licensed sexologist and relationship therapist, as well as author for the Swedish online magazine Passionerad. I’m here to guide you DIVAs through the basics of STIs and safe lesbian and sapphic sex.
Sorry, fellow sapphics, we can still catch an STI
Some queer women have the misconception that STIs can’t be spread via sapphic sex, but that’s unfortunately not true. We can catch all STIs, including chlamydia, gonorrhea, HIV, herpes and syphilis, so it’s very important to practise safe sex.
How to protect oneself during sex as a queer woman
If not being in a monogamous relationship where you’re sure about your own and your partner’s STI status, I truly recommend that every lesbian and sapphic out there to protect themselves during sex.
The best way to stay safe is to use a dental dam during oral sex, a condom on your fingers when fingering your partner, and a condom on the strap-on dildo during strapping or pegging, as well as to switch the condom if you swap the receiver or hole.
Tips for having the talk with your partner
When it all comes around, the best protection is to be sure about your partner’s STI status. So, while having a conversation about it might not feel like the funnest thing to do, it’s very necessary.
I recommend having the chat quite early on in your relationship, which makes it feel less dramatic, as well as letting you make an active choice around protection. You can start by telling your partner that you’d like to talk about safe sex, and then take it from there.
Many times, it feels best to take a fresh STI test together, which gives the most up-to-date result. It also gives you the opportunity to support one another,
If this convo feels difficult to bring up, starting the conversation when being in a situation where you don’t have to make eye contact often makes it easier. For example, you could bring it up when cuddling or driving. Also, remember to highlight that you want to talk about this so that you can have even better sex together.
This is how you test for STIs
Since many STIs have the risk of not giving any symptoms, it’s important to test yourself on a regular basis if you and/or your partner have many different sexual contacts.
Screening today is very easy, normalised and de-dramatised. You can either visit a clinic and give a urine and blood test, or you can order a home test for chlamydia and gonorrhea.
This means that if you suspect you’re at risk of having caught something other than chlamydia or gonorrhea, or if you just want to fully check your STI status, you need to contact a sexual wellness clinic or your doctor.
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