Welcome to this Sapphic 101 where we asked a sexologist to dish out everything you need to know when it comes to choosing the right lube
BY SOFIE ROOS, IMAGE BY TRACYSDOGOFFICIAL/UNSPLASH
Whether you’re fingering, strapping, giving oral or using toys, lube – for many sapphics – is a great way to boost the pleasure these sexual acts can provide. However, there are many different options to choose from and it’s easy to feel confused about what to pick.
I’m Sofie Roos, a licensed sexologist and relationship therapist, as well as author for the Swedish relationship and sex positive online magazine Passionerad. In this piece, I will guide you through the jungle of lubes so you know what to go for.
What types of lubes are there? And which one suits me the best?
Water-based lube
This works well with all kinds of sex toys as well as with condoms. It’s easy to wash off from the body and bed sheets without leaving stains. However, it doesn’t last as long and gives a thinner feeling, so you need to use more during sex.
If you’re after a lube that feels as natural as possible, the water-based options are what you should go for!
What type of person is water-based lube an extra good pick for?
It’s a great option for women and non-binary people with sensitive skin who want something gentle. Water-based lubes are hypoallergenic, meaning that they come with a very low risk of causing an allergic reaction.
There’s also water-based lube with added hyaluronic acid for a moisturising effect, something that’s great against eventual dryness.
It’s also the best option for people using sex toys made of silicone or other kinds of rubber, as well as for people using condoms.
Silicone-based lube
Unlike water-based lube, silicone-based lube is very thick. It lasts dramatically longer and feels more “oily”. While silicone-based lubes are the thickest choice, they are the trickiest to clean away from the body and bed, even though they leave a moisturising effect on the skin.
Who is silicone-based lube a great fit for?
Since silicone-based lubes last longer, I strongly recommend them for people with vaginas experiencing vaginal dryness, but also for people in comitted relationships without STIs that enjoy sex without using a dental dam or condom.
Oil-based lube
Lastly, we have oil-based lube. This is a highly natural option that moisturises very well and prevents dry skin. Natural oils such as coconut oil can also prevent further dryness, as well as having a relaxing effect if suffering from sensitive mucous membranes during the menopause.
There are a few downsides to oil-based lubes, though. Mainly that they can disturb the pH balance, leading to yeast infections and that they can’t be used with condoms or sex toys made of rubber. It also leaves stains that are difficult to get rid of if they make their way onto any fabrics.
Positive ingredients to look for in lubes
When talking about positive ingredients to look for, aloe vera has a calming and moisturising effect, and added hyaluronic acid can, as already mentioned, also make the lube more moisturising and make it feel more natural.
Panthenol softens and calms irritated skin, so if you have sensitive skin, look out for that too! Vitamin E can also treat the skin positively!
Harmful ingredients to look out for
When looking at things to avoid, I strongly recommend not to go for lubes with added perfume since that can be very distracting, leaving a bad taste, a strong smell that makes you unable to focus on the sex, as well as taking away the natural smells of the moment.
Glycerine is often seen in water-based lube, which increases the risk for yeast infections. Sometimes even parabens are found in water-based options, and that’s another ingredient which increases the risk for yeast infections – so look out for that!
DIVA magazine celebrates 31 years in print in 2025. If you like what we do, then get behind LGBTQIA+ media and keep us going for another generation. Your support is invaluable.
✨linkin.bio/ig-divamagazine ✨