Meet the author behind the new book Cacoethes, which is all about bi+ rep, power and BDSM
BY ELLA GAUCI, IMAGES BY JADENE LAMB
Imagine you’re freshly 18, just left home to go to university, and you’re desperate to embody the “Cool Girl” archetype. When a chance Tinder match throws you into the world of BDSM and power-play, combined with finding out about the sugar baby scene, your whole life is thrown into a new world that consumes you. Add on the fact that you’re bisexual, and you’ve got the plot to Chloe de Lullington’s debut novel Cacoethes.
This Bisexual Visibility Day, DIVA sat down with Chloe to find out more about this debut novel, bi+ representation and power dynamics.
You started to write Cacoethes when you were 19. How did your own identity shape Erin’s story?
I’m not quite as messy as she is! Being 19 definitely helped with the authenticity, though, as I was immersed in that very specific university world in that era. I also found it helpful to process certain feminist quandaries that were topical at the time – maybe they always will be, things like age gap relationships and sex work are potentially always going to be hot topics – by attributing different opinions to different people; Erin’s friends Molly, Alicia and Bo arose partially out of me having arguments with myself about how to be a “good” baby feminist.
Did you feel pressure to “explain” bisexuality to readers, or did you write unapologetically for those who already get it?
Cacoethes started as me just writing for myself, so I didn’t approach it thinking about explanations or definitions. Still, when I was editing it, I tried to make the whole narrative as accessible as possible. I didn’t want to explain bisexuality, or try to define it – Erin’s version of bisexuality might look enormously different to someone else’s, and that’s a good thing. One reviewer said they especially liked how the realisation of bisexuality was quite a low-key, natural part of the story, and that warmed my heart because I didn’t want to sensationalise it too much. Although that being said, the whole plot is driven by a lot of increasingly bad decisions, so a little bit of sensationalism is a must!
Erin explores bisexuality in spaces like BDSM and sugar-baby dating. What did you want to reveal about desire, power and choice?
I really wanted to get into the power dynamic conversation, which is served in two slightly different ways – the physical and the capitalist – by the BDSM and sugar-baby dating plot points. It’s worth noting that several of Erin’s relationships are very straight-passing, and she also has a severe case of comp het at the start of the novel, which is something I think is sometimes a rite of passage for discovering bisexual identity. Who among us hasn’t been socialised into straightness? And if you do have that different-gender attraction, it sometimes isn’t obvious that there’s a bit of fruitiness in there as well!
In Erin’s case, her BDSM experiences are heavily heterosexual in appearance, and also very much not a template for healthy, safe, sane and consensual kink. She’s not coerced, she and her Tinder account actively choose to go there – but it’s up for debate whether she knows the entirety of what she’s letting herself into, as there’s a power imbalance that goes beyond the purely physical. From there, she rebounds into another heterosexual cliché: dating men for money. Again, this is a choice she freely makes, but it’s rooted in a society where she – a working-class young woman – has no social capital and the rich middle-aged men she’s dating have it in spades.
Bisexual characters are often written as confused or indecisive. How did you challenge or subvert those stereotypes?
It’s quite difficult to completely sidestep these tropes in a novel like Cacoethes because it’s so relationship-driven. There’s a constant need to be seen to be bisexual, which often means showing a character hooking up with people of various genders, which lends itself very well to accusations of indecisiveness. As soon as monogamy rears its head, there’s a perception that the bisexuality takes a back seat, that someone has “chosen a side”. I’ve tried to make a feature of it, and explore and understand Erin’s motivations behind her various choices, rather than demonising the notion of the indecisive bisexual as a stock character type.
What gaps do you still see in bisexual representation in literature today?
There’s always room for more bisexual stories – especially as the lead, not just the chaotic friend or minor character. Anecdotally, there remains a very real representation gap, which I’ve seen in a very literal, tangible sense. I launched Cacoethes at Manchester’s Queer Lit bookshop back in June; they’re Europe’s largest LGBTQIA+ bookshop and do a highly impressive, important job showcasing titles from all the sections of the rainbow – and yet even within this dedicated space, there’s just one bookcase of bisexual titles compared to a whole wall for Sapphic and Achillean books, and it’s not for lack of trying on their part! I do wonder if part of this comes down to the eternal issue of depicting or “proving” bisexuality, because you could conceivably have a bisexual lead character who, if in a committed monogamous relationship, would likely be perceived as either straight or gay.
How do you think bisexuality complicates the traditional coming-of-age arc compared to straight or gay narratives?
It’s the eternal struggle of having to prove and perform bisexuality, isn’t it? If you’re talking about the conventional romance fiction structures, then the demand of the happily-ever-after means having to pick a partner of whatever gender, and, in so doing, potentially erasing the visible bi-ness of that character. I wanted Erin to get to explore both men and women, but I’m very conscious that I’m never going to fully satisfy every reader; her bisexuality may skew more homoromantic, but a lot of her sexual encounters are with older men because in a very straight, very capitalist world, they’re easier for her to acquire.
What kind of reactions from bisexual readers have meant the most to you since publishing the book?
The joy of seeing yourself represented is unrivalled, and I’ve received some heartwarming and deeply insightful reactions, especially from young bisexual women. Some readers have been very vulnerable with me in their responses, sharing which parts of the book reflect their experiences, which I think – hope – means I’ve done a good job at depicting these thorny nuances and the realities of unpicking identity in a world that doesn’t always seem to believe bisexuality is a real thing.
Cacoethes is available to order direct from Northodox Press for £9.99, or from all good bookshops. You can follow Chloe on Instagram @lifeinthechlolane or on Bluesky at @cdelull.bsky.social.
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