Are you in a hectic phase of life that doesn’t leave much time to get intimate with your partner? You’ll want to check out these five key pieces of advice from a licensed sexologist
BY SOFIE ROOS, IMAGE BY VLADISLAV MUSLAKOV/UNSPLASH
Is your busy schedule getting in the way of your sex life? Perhaps your energy levels are affecting your libido? It’s easy to get there. But there are a few tips and tricks you and your lover can use to get busy in the bedsheets more often…
I’m Sofie Roos, a licensed sexologist and relationship therapist, as well as author for the Swedish relationship and sex positive magazine Passionerad. I’m here to give you my best advice that helps all you sapphics out there wishing to find the time and lust for more sex.
Give scheduled sex a try
While scheduling time in the bedroom doesn’t work for everyone, for some, it’s a nice way to structure the intimacy in a way that gets you going more often. Even though it might not sound like the hottest solution – it actually doesn’t have to be that “unsexy”!
Here’s a bonus tip to make it work out better: Do not schedule sex itself, but set aside time where you prioritise the two of you, such as by planning a movie night or a romantic date – and sometimes it might lead to sex, and other times, it turns out to “just” be a lovely moment between you!
It doesn’t have to be perfect each time
It’s so very easy to go around and wait for “the perfect time” to get intimate – a time that rarely comes when being in a stressful period of life, leading to your intimacy fading away to nothing. If you’re wanting to have more sex, it’s better to have short and lazy sex than no sex at all, it doesn’t have to be the fuck of your life each time!
Try new things together
Often when you don’t feel like you have time and energy for sex, it’s because you don’t find it that interesting anymore. So it’s time to invest more in your sex life. You can do this by buying new sex toys, playing a game, trying out roleplaying or getting intimate in new places. You can make it more thrilling and exciting, which will also make you naturally prioritise getting intimate more.
Talking about things you’re curious about and would like to try is the way to start finding new things to do during sex!
Stimulate your sex life every day
Send your partner a hot message or a nude while they’re at work, wear hot lingerie more often, take showers together, or casually tease your partner physically with a caressing finger on their thigh in front of the TV, or a hand on their butt while cooking.
If you also get intimate outside of bed, you’ll stimulate your sex life extremely positively over time – and it doesn’t even have to be something that is so “time-consuming”. Simply sending a dirty text message such as: “Wish I could have your face between my legs right now” from time to time will do!
Sit down and see how you can get more time and energy for sex
What in your life is so time and energy consuming? By sitting down and pointing out what’s taking up much of your time, and what things you can do more effectively as well as how you can do that, you will get more free time, which you can use to, for example, get laid!
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