“We are all human and it is our right to come to terms with ourselves with time”
BY NAZ SAKICI, IMAGE BY WIRESTOCK/DREAMSTIME
It is no secret that life is a journey, and everyone goes through it differently, and it is no secret that every person finds their identity in their own unique way. People who know this experience best are queer people. So why is it that instead of getting together and uplifting each other by creating a safe space to grow, the queer community police each other’s identities instead?
One way to describe this action is “gatekeeping” which is a word that describes someone controlling who gets access to particular opportunities or sources. In recent years, some people in queer spaces have taken it upon themselves to decide who gets to identify as what, and how they get to express themselves.
The most recent conversation around identity policing within the queer community and outside the community included bisexual women. Bisexual people facing biphobia is nothing new, since the dawn of time they were treated as “promiscuous”. Some queer people might state that they are not “gay enough’’ while some straight people might suggest that they are not ‘‘straight enough’’.
As of late, singer/songwriter Billie Eilish caused some reactions among people when she was spotted kissing actor Nat Wolff on a balcony in Italy. Eilish, who came out and expressed her attraction towards women saying “I am for the girls”, started a new discourse after the news spread. Some people were quick to go on social media and make negative comments about Eilish’s love life. Some people also came to her defence stating that the Lunch singer never identified as a lesbian and that it is okay for people to discover and explore their identities, and even asked why people find it strange when a bisexual person does something bisexual.
Eilish never gave a specific label to what she identifies as, so why are people so fast to police her identity when she clearly stated that she is not comfortable discussing it?
Another public figure who discussed her experience with identity gatekeeping in the community was singer/songwriter Reneé Rapp. Even though Rapp used to identify as bisexual, she recently came out as a lesbian, just like many famous people Rapp’s sexuality got involved in many conversations among the queer community. The Leave Me Alone singer went on a livestream and stated her anger towards the online discourse talking about her past relationships with men and her old songs about those relationships, after some people called her a “fake lesbian”. Rapp did not stay silent towards the comments that were made about her and came on to say that growing up she struggled with her identity, and it is not okay for people to judge her just because she explored her sexuality differently.
We are all human and it is our right to come to terms with ourselves with time. Sexuality and gender identity can be hard thing to figure out in a world that tries to make us fit into a norm, it should be our right to evolve with time.
We are living in a world that is becoming more hateful towards the LGBTQIA+ community every day. Thus, instead of gatekeeping one another’s identity, we as a community should stand in solidarity and respect each other’s journey through sexuality and gender identity.
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