Welcome to this beginner’s guide to introducing vibrators, wands and more to the bedroom
BY SOFIE ROOS, IMAGE BY COTTONBRO STUDIO
If you’re a sapphic wanting to introduce sex toys into your sex life with your partner/s, you might have some questions. Where do you get started? What’s worth spending on?
Well, I’m Sofie Roos, a licensed sexologist, relationship therapist and author at the Swedish relationship and sex positive magazine Passionerad. I also happen to be bisexual. I’m here to give you a newbie’s guide through the jungle of sex toys for sapphic couples.
Couple vibrators are the sh*t!
A couple’s vibrator is a vibrator designed to be able to be used with a partner. I recommend investing in a model that’s remote controlled through an app on the phone, as well as one which’s stimulating both the G-spot and the clit!
A personal favourite is Lovense Lush 3, which you can buy at the official store. This is a best seller that guarantees amazing orgasms, both G-spot and clitoral climaxes, and with a little bit of training, you can even get them at the same time. The vibrator is insertable and has tons of settings that are controlled from the phone.
And for the one’s wanting to bring the fun in public – put it inside, get dressed and let your partner connect their phone to the vibrator, and then visit a restaurant, a bar, go to a park for a picnic, visit a museum or why not attend a concert – all while the vibrator is being controlled.
Massage wands are awesome
A good old classic massage wand is actually great to use together, thanks to the long shaft which makes it easy to reach. You can use it on your partner while making out, thanks to being able to reach the clitoris without needing to be down there.
I’d recommend the Doxy Die Cast – a small and handy, yet extremely strong, wand vibrator with a maximum effect between 3000 and 9000 (RPM) vibrations per minute, depending on what model you go for.
It starts at 1000 RPM, and for each press on the button, you add another 1000 vibrations, which means it works well both for sapphics enjoying soft vibrations, and the one’s loving it more intensely!
You can buy the wand here.
Dildos for beginners
Dildos are a great complement to the fingers, and they do give a completely different feeling. They can also be used in tons of different ways – both vaginally or anally, in different sex positions and combined with other sex toys, such as vibrators.
Either use them on each other, or in front of each other! I love a dildo called Arch from Le Wand. It’s made out of stainless steel which doesn’t give a penis look, and it’s shaped to reach the G-spot for extra pleasurable fun.
While it’s a bit pricey, the material lasts forever and is perfect to use for water sex and temperature play! You can get yours here.
Vibrating butt plugs
Vibrating butt plugs can be used both to prepare for anal sex, and as a stimulator itself. While everyone can use it, it feels extra great for trans women with a prostate since it can give P-spot orgasms!
I love the Lovense Hush 2 – an app controlled butt plug that comes in four sizes, that’s designed to glide in easily, and has a big stop in the bottom making it impossible for the plug to slide in and disappear in the ass. You can buy the Hush 2 at Lovense’s official website.
Lube, lube and more lube!
What is sex without lube? Even if you’re not missing it, adding it to your sex life will make you wish you had started to use it earlier, because everything from oral sex to fingering gets more intimate, smooth and pleasurable!
If using the lube without any sex toys made out of silicone, or without dental dams, I recommend everyone try out Überlube which you can buy here. It’s a natural lube which means it doesn’t take away any smell or taste. It also lasts forever and comes in a luxurious glass bottle, which can be bought in different sizes!
For queer women who use dental dams, condoms or sex toys made out of silicone, such as vibrators, I instead recommend Fleshlube – a water based lube that’s very affordable as well as natural in taste and smell. You can buy it at Fleshlight’s official online store.
For those curious about pegging…
Pegging is perfect for sapphics who’d like to have penetrative anal sex, and to get started, you need to invest in a harness and a strap-on dildo!
For the harness, my top recommendation is the fully adjustable strap-on harness called StrapHer. It fits all body types, has amazing quality and is robust and stable when pegging. You can buy it here!
For the strap-on dildo, I recommend a purple best seller called WondHer. It doesn’t look like a penis, it’s made out of soft silicone, has a glans-formed top for nicer stimulation and is bendable which gives a more realistic feeling. You can buy it at Wet For Her.
Further reading: My guide on exploring pegging in your sapphic relationship.
Double dildos = double the fun
By using a double dildo, both of you can get penetrated at the same time. My favourite way to use a double dildo is to stand in doggystyle, turned away from each other, and go back and forth against the dildo. (You can also use a wand vibrator on the clitoris at the same time!).
For newbies, I would recommend a double dildo called Double Whammy. It’s quite thin, soft and bendable, and the tops are a bit bigger for greater stimulation. You can find it at PipeDreams official website.
Last thoughts…
Talk with your partner about what sex toys you’re interested in before investing in them, and remember that you don’t need to get it all at once. It’s better to start off easy and get a feel for it!
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