This technique is guaranteed to turn up the heat
BY SOFIE ROOS, IMAGE BY WOMANIZER, UNSPLASH
Engaging in edging during sex with yourself or a partner is an amazing way to build up stronger orgasms, but also to learn more about your own and your partner’s body and sexual preferences.
I’m Sofie Roos, a bisexual licensed sexologist, relationship therapist and author at the Swedish relationship magazine Passionerad. And I’m here to offer you a 101 guide to the art of edging as a sapphic.
I’m also bisexual myself, and am living with a woman, and I’m here to guide you through the art of edging as a sapphic!
But first, what is edging, and why do you do it?
Edging is a technique used during sex where, just before you (or your partner) orgasm/s, you pause stimulation, and wait until the build-up goes down. You then repeat the same thing again.
You can edge yourself or a partner during masturbation or sex with others, and this can be done either to last longer in bed or to extend the sex and pleasure, as well as to build up stronger orgasms when finally letting the climax come.
Edging can also be used during power play to create a power difference between you, where the dominant controls the submissive’s orgasm and is in charge of when they are allowed to reach all the way.
Some ways to edge
Here are three pleasurable ways for beginners on how to discover edging…
- Stimulate your clitoris with your hands or a vibrator, and stop right before you reach orgasm. Wait some time, and then repeat again.
- Perform oral sex on your partner, and stop when they signal they’re about to climax. Let them rest for a while, and then give them oral sex again.
- Edge one another at the same time in the 69 position. Decide upon a signal to give when you’re getting close.
Five sexpert pieces of advice for incorporating edging in your sex life
If you’re a newbie to edging, how to get started can feel tricky, so here are five actionable pieces of advice that will help you ease into it!
Explore your body yourself first
Get to know your body and explore what feels good as well as how close to climax you can get before you need to stop to not cum, or pass the limit where you don’t achieve an orgasm, but still get out of the mood. Edging requires timing and high knowledge about your own orgasm, and you practise best with yourself at first, so start during solo sex before letting a partner involved.
Master your breathing
Secondly, I suggest that everyone actively control and use their breathing during the edging. Be in charge of your breaths by taking deep and long ones, something that makes it easier to control the orgasm. It also helps you to be in the moment, to stay focused as well as to be able to edge for longer!
Edging with a partner requires communication
If edging with a partner, communication is extremely important, because otherwise, it’s very tricky to know when to stop before climax. So, have some sort of sign, either by body language or by words, that lets the one edging know when to stop! You must also talk beforehand about what you’d like to explore and how, for example, how many times you like to be edged, by what technique (using hands, mouth, sex toys or penetrative sex?), and with what intensity (you can edge by doing long but slow sessions, or by stimulating intense but shorter!).
Pro tip: For most, starting off by edging two to three times and then letting the orgasm come is enough. With gained experience, you can edge for longer!
Vary the stimulation
Play around with tempo shifts and different pressures. Switch between slow and fast movements, don’t be afraid to keep the same tempo for long periods of time, try different pressure and play around with techniques and sex positions. This makes the edging more dynamic and helps it to stay interesting, as well as makes it easier to build up the orgasm each time.
Pro tip: Involve erogenous zones during edging to build up even stronger orgasms!
Use sex toys
Last but not least, I would suggest taking the help of sex toys, lube or BDSM tools such as a blindfold, a feather or a whip to increase the intensity and create a greater variation. Use the sex toys you like, no matter if it’s a vibrator, a sex machine, a penis sleeve (for trans women) or a strap-on!
Pro tip: When edging, keeping the same rhythm and tempo for long makes it easier to build up the orgasms over and over again, and using an automatic sex toy makes that more convenient.
Last thoughts…
Remember that edging is not for everyone. Some find it too intense, so try it out carefully by not edging yourself for too long. If using the technique with a partner, use a safe word and always check in on each other before, during and after the session.
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