This LVW, we’ve partnered with LGBT Foundation to find out more about your rainbow families
WORDS BY RACHEL
Happy Lesbian Visibility Week 2025. This year our theme is all about family. We’ve partnered up with LGBT Foundation, a UK-based national charity that focuses on LGBTQIA health and well-being, to hear what family means to you.
This is what family looks like to Rachel.
What does family mean to you?
It’s a cliché, but it’s everything to me – my immediate little family and my wider family too along with my chosen family. The best times and the worst times in my life I’ve shared with my family and that’s what I think bonds you – those shared experiences are what knits people together.
Tell us about a typical day in your family life:
My partner and I have a six and 10 year old. We both work full-time in busy jobs, and our kids have more active social lives than I could ever dream of so to say it’s a juggle is an understatement. Each day is a negotiation of logistics, getting the kids to and from breakfast or after-school clubs and their respective clubs and hobbies, weaving in an evening meal, chores and homework too.
People say it takes a village to bring up a family and it’s no lie – we couldn’t do it without having some help from family. We help out friends too and vice versa, which is lovely for the kids as well. My kids sometimes say their friends feel more like siblings. I love that they have a sense of chosen family through the support networks we’ve built.
I’m admittedly obsessed with my kids, but they are just the best people I know. To see them grow up and witness their personalities develop and shift is just amazing. It’s an honour to witness it and they teach me more than I will ever be able to teach them. But, I think it’s important to say that it’s also really hard too. There are moments when I’m so exhausted that I don’t know how to get through another meal time negotiating what our youngest will eat, or another bedtime praying my eldest will go to sleep at a reasonable time so we can crack on with the next task. If my partner and I both make it to the sofa in time to be able to watch something on TV together without one or both of us falling asleep then we’re winning! I also know there are so many people navigating more challenges than us too, and whatever the circumstances, I just take off my hat to anyone bringing up a family. In a world of unrealistic representations of family life in social media I think it’s important to share the reality, which is difficult and messy. There’s beauty in that reality too of course, but sometimes it’s not easy to see it when you’re in the thick of it.
My favourite times are when we have nowhere to rush off to and can pause and slow down together. I love a Sunday morning when we’ve nowhere to get to and we’re all in our PJs pottering around together.
How have things changed for LGBTQIA+ families over your lifetime?
I’m approaching 40, and when I was younger I knew I wanted kids, but wasn’t sure how it’d happen at the time as I didn’t know any queer people, let alone queer parents. We went down the IVF route, and I often think about how privileged we were to be able to do that. If we were born just a generation earlier, that just wouldn’t have been on the cards – so that’s a huge shift. Adoption rights too have moved on leaps and bounds. The actual number of queer parent families has grown so significantly in recent years, so I think this is the biggest shift. We’re more present now and therefore an increasing part of society’s fabric. I think this is really important for LGBTQIA rights as a whole. Do I think that my children’s friends will be more likely to be LGBTQIA affirmative and not prejudiced due to the fact they’ve met us, and seen that our family life is no different from theirs? Yes, I do – that’s what I hope for anyway. Seeing diversity in your formative years can impact significantly your view of the world, so more of that can only be a positive thing for wider public perceptions.
What are your hopes for the future for LGBTQIA+ families?
We were in a fortunate position where we could save up and access private fertility treatment initially. Sadly, and like so many, we had a really complicated and difficult journey to parenthood and so we eventually became eligible for NHS treatment, but it shouldn’t have taken that for us to be able to access NHS treatment. My hope for the future is fertility justice, so that all LGBTQIA people can access fertility support without having to jump through inaccessible hoops before being eligible. Fertility treatment isn’t the only route to parenthood obviously, but it should be a choice we all have.
You can find out more about LGBT Foundation here: https://lgbt.foundation/
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