DIVA spoke to the co-directors behind one of this year’s #FiveFilmsForFreedom
BY ELLA GAUCI, IMAGES BY OKTANIA HAMDANI AND WINNER WIJAYA
Part of BFI Flare’s #FiveFilmsForFreedom, NGGAK!!! is a heartfelt snapshot of young love under pressure. As Sekar and Bebi game, joke, and share memes, their joy is interrupted by a dreaded call – Sekar’s mother wants to set her up. Can she make her family see that love is already in play?
DIVA spoke to co-directors Oktania Hamdani and Winner Wijaya ahead of its screening at BFI Flare.
Was there a specific moment or reference point which inspired your film?
Oktania: I was in a really, really dark place when I first moved out of my house ten years ago. My relationship with my family was not good, I lived alone, and I had no real-life friends as I worked in an office right after I graduated high school overseas. I sought human connection online and stumbled upon the game IMVU, the game that was in my film. I met and fell in love with a very kind person on IMVU and I even got to meet her family online. For the first time, someone showed me how it felt to be loved, and I felt the love from her family as well – something that I never got growing up. She basically changed my life just by showing me love and giving me the support to be my true self. I did marry her in the game, and our game characters are still married there, but we were never a real-life couple and she is now happily married with one child. I never met her in real life but she continues to be my inspiration for my film.
Winner: Receiving video calls from my parents.
If you had to describe your film in three words, what would they be?
Oktania: Love, home, and pride – it’s about loving, finding love, and being loved as your true self. It’s about discovering your sense of “home”, a place where you can be yourself without fear, and embracing it with pride!
Winner: Butter, Nemu, and Peyek. Those are the names of my cats that showed up in the film.
What was the most unexpected lesson you learned while making this film?
Oktania: I am bisexual, and our film tells the story of a lesbian couple. Through this process, I realised that my experience as a bisexual woman is quite different from that of a lesbian woman. While writing a pivotal dialogue between the daughter and the mother, I found myself stuck. To gain a deeper perspective, I reached out to one of my lesbian mutuals on Twitter and asked about her experience navigating life as a lesbian in a Muslim-majority country.
What I learned was eye-opening – the fear of being a lesbian woman is far greater than the fear I’ve experienced as a bisexual woman. At the very least, I have the “I like boys” safety net, which allows me to blend in when necessary. But for many lesbians, there is no such buffer; they are often forced to mask their identity entirely.
The story in my film is something that happens far too often, not just in Indonesia but all around the world. In fact, when I shared the premise with my mutual, she immediately said, “Oh my god, I have a friend who just went through the exact same thing!” She introduced me to her friend, and I had the chance to listen to her story as well. It was only after hearing their experiences that I was able to continue writing the dialogue with the depth and authenticity it deserved.
Since this was my first time writing a film, this experience also taught me a crucial lesson – the importance of research and gathering as many perspectives as possible when telling a story.
Winner: When we were writing the film, I looked back on how I behaved when answering a call from my mum, what I did on my phone, and what the screen of my phone looked like during the call. We want to make the absurdity of our phone screen behaviour into plot points in the film. I never really realised how much is happening on our phone screen in eight minutes until we edited the film. The editing was painstaking, I didn’t sleep for almost two nights as the deadline for finishing the film was fast approaching. I also learned that cat videos are the best cure for depression.
How does it feel to have your film showcased at BFI Flare?
Oktania: We are beyond excited! We never go to a queer film festival, and it feels like a dream comes true to share our queer film with all the queers around the world. We are very excited for our film to meet the amazing queers.
Winner: We are really excited! Our filmmaker friends, Khozy Rizal (Makassar is a City for Football Fans) and Hardy Yohansyah, attended BFI Flare in 2022. They said that BFI Flare was a “ngangeni”’ film festival, which means that they missed the feelings they had while attending the festival. They also mentioned that people can truly feel safe and comfortable being themselves at the festival. We’re looking forward to attending the festival, watching queer films, and meeting other people!
BFI Flare is a celebration of LGBTQIA storytelling. What do you hope LGBTQIA audiences at BFI Flare take away after watching your film?
Oktania: We hope our film can be a warm embrace for all queer individuals who have experienced similar struggles. For those who have yet to find their “home” – a space where they feel truly seen, safe, and accepted – we hope our film offers even a brief sense of belonging, a moment of comfort that makes the journey feel a little less isolating and lonely. More than anything, we want to reaffirm that no matter how much society tries to silence or suppress us, we – queer people – will always find our own way to love, to exist, and to thrive. We refuse to conform to the norms imposed upon us; instead, we will carve out our own way to live authentically and unapologetically.
Winner: We hoped that if someone in the audience could relate to what Sekar, the main character of our film, was experiencing, they could feel less alone.
Why do you think LGBTQIA filmmaking is so important in 2025?
Oktania: Given the current political climate around the world, I believe it is even more important than ever to amplify LGBTQIA issues and stories through film. Cinema has always been a powerful medium for expression, allowing us to voice our concerns, spark conversations, and inspire change. Seeing more LGBTQIA films being made and shared is a testament to our ongoing fight – it serves as a reminder that we will never stop advocating for our rights. This visibility is essential in nurturing our collective spirit and strengthening our resolve to fight for justice and equality for the LGBTQIA community.
Winner: I think it’s important for more queer filmmakers to make films and present our experiences truthfully from our perspectives. It would make a whole lot of difference if LGBTQIA audiences could watch films that show other queer perspectives.
This year’s Flare is split into the themes of Hearts, Bodies, and Minds. Do you have an LGBTQIA film which affected your heart, body, or mind?
Oktania: For me, it’s Madame X, an Indonesian queer superhero film directed by Lucky Kuswandi. The film follows a transgender superhero who fights a queerphobic political party using fierce, and slay dance moves – like oh my god, it’s absolutely incredible. It’s campy, unapologetically queer, and wildly empowering. I love how loud the film is in showing just how powerful we are and how utterly ridiculous queerphobia is.
Winner: There is a beautiful short film, Egúngún, that Oktania and I watched together at a short film festival, Minikino Film Week, in 2022. We were close friends, but we became even closer during and after watching the film. It might have been a little weird, but I brushed my fingers against her nails during the film. She had these beautiful long nails with glitter and small shiny decorations. I think it was the first time I had the courage to show her that I liked her. I am a really awkward person, and neither of us had had romantic partners before. Then, we got together as a couple at the festival’s after-party.
What was the best piece of advice you received while working on this film, and what advice would you give to emerging queer filmmakers?
Oktania: The film was developed in a short film lab, where I had the privilege of being mentored by the incredible filmmaker Bani Nasution. When I first pitched my idea, I wasn’t entirely honest about how deeply personal the story was – I was essentially running away from myself. Bani challenged me with countless questions about every character in NGGAK!!!, pushing me to confront the truth and acknowledge that the film was, in fact, heavily based on my own life. At first, I was afraid of being perceived as narcissistic for making such a personal film. But through this process, I realized that as a director, honesty – both with yourself and with everyone involved in the film – is essential, and that it’s absolutely okay to make a film that’s very personal to you. My advice to all filmmakers, including myself, is to embrace honesty in every aspect of filmmaking. Be truthful in your storytelling, in the way you portray your characters and in the emotions you bring to the screen. A film carries more depth and authenticity when it comes from a place of sincerity, so never be afraid to tell a story that is deeply personal to you.
Winner: The film lab was for vertical films, so we wanted to make a film that could only be told in a vertical format and viewed on vertical screens. We wanted to make the phone experience as authentic as possible, so we shot the film on our actual phones.
The shooting process was a lot of fun; it was one of the shortest film shoots we had ever done. We got together at Oktania’s house at 10 am, ate breakfast, and I brought charsiew chicken, tofu, and stir-fried bitter melon from a really good restaurant near my house. Oktania and the other actors did some rehearsal while I set up the locations, which were in Oktania’s bedroom and her housemate’s room.
We started shooting the longest scene at 1 pm, then took a break and ate some more at a market near Oktania’s house. After that, we shot the rest of the scenes and wrapped around 5 pm, then ate at a tuna restaurant. I think it’s really important to have fun and eat well while making a film. I learned that making a film doesn’t need to be expensive or extravagant – there were only six people, including the actors, on our shoot, we only shot with our phones, and we had a lot of fun.
Making fun, independent, low-budget, or no-budget films is important for every filmmaker, as it allows us to be ourselves without the burden of returning investments or meeting expectations. What’s most important is that we are likely to keep making more films if the process is fun and not traumatic.
What’s the one question you wish more people would ask about your film?
Oktania: I’d love to hear more about how the audience feels about it. After all, our film is meant to be shared, so I would love to hear it from their perspectives too. I’m also really interested in learning about the audience’s experiences living as queer individuals – I’d love to listen to as many queer stories as possible!
Winner: As Oktania said, I am actually more curious and want to ask the audience rather than us being asked by the audience.
NGGAK!!! (NO!!!) screens as part of the 39th BFI Flare: London LGBTQIA+ Film Festival on Thursday 20 March and Saturday 29 March. It has also been selected as one of this year’s Five Films For Freedom, in partnership with the British Council, and will be available to watch online globally for free for the duration of BFI Flare. For more details / tickets here
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