Ahead of the Iris Prize LGBTQ+ Film Festival, we meet the star of the latest lesbian Christmas rom-com
BY LIV EVELEIGH, IMAGES BY LAST EXMAS
At last, a lesbian Christmas rom-com! This year, Canadian filmmaker, Sarah Rotella and writer, Adrianna DiLonardo have made sure to make the festive season just a little bit gayer. Last ExMas is a fantastically funny rom-com premiering this year at the Iris Prize LGBTQ+ Film Festival. Enjoy our exclusive interview with lead actor Elena Milo, as we talk all things Last ExMas and its incredible role in the queer canon of filmmaking. Last ExMas is refreshingly laid-back, filled with joy, authenticity, and relatable moments. As Elena puts it: “being queer is not a tragedy”, and that is something at the heart of this film.
Elena, a Toronto-based actor, plays Maggie in Last ExMas, her first feature film. Having come from a theatre background with years of experience, the film marks a major milestone in her career. What is perhaps most unique about this experience is the actor’s sense of connection to the women behind this project. Growing up in London, Canada, as a young queer woman, Elena remarks upon how important Sarah and Adrianna’s YouTube channel (the one and OnlyGayWomensChannel) was to her as a closeted teen. She describes how landing this role felt like “a full circle moment”. Working alongside some of her role models and an incredible ensemble of women and queer people, Elena experienced an immense sense of comfort and community during the film’s creation. Read on to discover the rich tapestry of women’s voices and experiences that are seamlessly woven into the heart of this remarkable film.
How did you come into this role?
So originally, I just did an audition. It was a self-tape through my agent and I remember I was going to film it with my coach but I ended up being deathly sick. I thought: “I’m just gonna film it at home and I’m just gonna send it in.” I didn’t hear anything for a long time… and then they asked me to do a callback! My callback was actually with my co-star Shaeane! Then I managed to book it! It kind of felt like a big full circle moment for me because growing up as a queer kid – and I was closeted in high school – I used to watch Sarah and Adrianna’s YouTube videos… and now I’m in their project!
Part of what is so fantastic and refreshing about Last ExMas is that it’s a classic Christmas rom-com, except for the fact that the protagonists are gay. There’s no coming out story, there’s no homophobia, it’s warm, it’s funny. How important do you think this type of representation is?
Beyond important. I think there’s obviously a huge place for people to make these films about queer hardship, but I think it’s important to show and send a message that being queer is not a tragedy. That you’re not doomed. It’s not that you’re not going to have difficult parts of that, because it’s still a difficult thing – sometimes – but it’s not all bad. And you are worthy of a happy and easy-going life full of acceptance and love.
In the real world, often, being from a more Western country, obviously this is a privilege, but usually, I find even, personally, in my relationships, the hardship in it is no longer about coming out, it’s about the real issues that happen just between two people who love each other or used to love each other or hate each other. Like you said, it is very refreshing and I think the whole point of a rom-com is to give people something easy to watch, something that gives them levity and happiness and why shouldn’t queer people have that as well with their stories that are being told?
You mentioned having had similar experiences. Are there either of the characters or any of the characters that you do specifically relate to?
I think Maggie is very much like me. I think I gave a lot of myself to her. I think she uses a sort of guarded stand-offish, offensive technique in order to protect herself. I think I really related to that.
Something else we cannot forget to mention is the women behind this project. What was it like working with Sarah and Adrianna, helping bring their vision to life? Have you worked on many other projects completely spearheaded by women?
I think this is the only one. I have been in projects that are directed by women which is amazing. I did do a play, when I was in school where the cast was very intentional, and the crew for the most part, were all women or a part of the queer community, but I feel like this film really took it to another level.
I think just such a huge thing that stands out is the level of comfort that it brought to the project. I think we just got so lucky with the cast and the crew, and everybody was so incredibly respectful. I made some incredible friends who I am still friends with today and hope to be friends with forever! But I think that Sarah and Adrianna’s approach is really one with all of us and super collaborative with everybody. I felt like people were able to bring their own ideas and voices into the space. I don’t know if that is something unique to women but I think that it’s something that happens more with women because women are so used to being far more silenced. They’re more aware of the need to listen to other people’s voices
So, as we have mentioned, the creators of Last Exmas – Sarah and Adrianna – are queer women themselves. Did this create a unique feel with the project, and did you feel as though the film is reflective of yourself as a queer woman?
I think it’s just so clear in their writing that it’s written by people who are representative of these characters and these stories. And not to say that this is something exclusive to men, but I think it’s also nice that it in no way, shape or form felt like any kind of fetishization. It may dip into stereotypes and jokes a little bit, but for the most part, it’s just so grounded and real and simple and funny. You can tell that Sarah and Adrianna really put bits of themselves into the characters and the stories.
You’ve done theatre, and now you’ve completed a film—who knows what’s next on your journey! What does acting mean to you personally? Is it about conveying certain messages, or do you do it simply for the love of the craft? What kind of creative drive fuels your work?
I know I can’t do anything else. I’ve tried! I think being an actor is one of the greatest things. You’re encouraged to show the parts of yourself that in the real world, people don’t want to see and you’re not supposed to show and you don’t want to show… acting and film beg you to show that, it’s like there’s a wall between the outside world and what happens on camera. It’s a totally different world.
What do you think the audience is going to think and feel when they see this relationship on screen?
I think so many people are gonna relate to this love story because again, it’s just a true telling of a relationship as it is. It’s a story about family and about coming back to your past and being confronted with the question of what is important to you. I think that people, whether they’re queer, lesbians or in a relationship or single or whatever, everyone’s going to find themselves in this film. Whether it’s in Maggie and Jules’ relationship, whether it’s in the families, or in the community of the town, I think people are going to love it because you can find little pieces of everybody all throughout the story. And I think that hopefully, people are just going to feel a whole lot of joy. That’s my hope because I was full of joy working on it. So I hope it does the same for those watching.
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