“It’s a common experience for LGBTQIA people to be left out of the picture or subjected to some form of anti-LGBTQIA prejudice when accessing support”
BY KERRIE DRAGHI, IMAGE BY OKSANA KRASIUK
The narrative around abuse in society, and within most support services, is that domestic abuse usually happens in heterosexual relationships with men as perpetrators. Consequently, there is a lack of awareness and visibility for abuse in LGBTQIA relationships that makes it more difficult for LGBTQIA people to realize when we are in abusive relationships, and fewer domestic abuse support services that address the issues queer people experience when leaving an abusive relationship.
LGBTQIA survivors of abuse face unique barriers to accessing support such as the fear that they will not be believed because of a lack of understanding of how abuse happens in same-sex relationships, and some LGBTQIA people may find it harder to leave if their family does not support them, has disowned them or they have not come out yet. LGBTQIA people living with an abusive partner may have a higher risk of becoming homeless if they leave the relationship – one in five LGBTQIA people have experienced homelessness, 25% for trans people and 28% for LGBTQIA disabled people.
Research from Galop, a charity that supports LGBTQIA survivors of abuse, in partnership with YouGov shows that 61% of LGBTQIA survivors of domestic abuse did not seek support from services. Furthermore, trans, non-binary and queer survivors reported high levels of concern about being mistreated by typical services that may not understand their identities.
Galop’s Interim CEO, Ben Kernighan, says: “There are substantial gaps in the amount of specialist LGBTQIA domestic abuse services in England and Wales, so it’s a common experience for LGBTQIA people to be left out of the picture or subjected to some form of anti-LGBTQIA prejudice when accessing support. Whether in a police response, support services or in healthcare settings, we know that LGBTQIA people often don’t feel safe to come forward and seek help from mainstream services.”
SafeLives’ 2019 national datasets found that just 2.5% of people accessing support from domestic abuse services identified as LGBTQIA. Along with Galop, LGBTQIA survivors of abuse can contact for support Star Refuge at the Outside Project and the Bi Survivors Network.
Domestic abuse services in the UK are generally underfunded, and specialist services for LGBTQIA people, Black women and disabled people are “chronically underfunded than most”, says Women’s Aid in an open letter calling on the UK government to give more funding to domestic abuse services.
Some forms of domestic abuse are also unique to LGBTQIA people, such as an abusive partner purposely calling you by your “dead name” or incorrect pronouns, denying the person’s sexuality because of past history (e.g. “You cannot be a lesbian because you have had sex with men before”), telling their partner that nobody will believe them because of their sexuality or gender identity, or excusing abusive behaviour based on stereotypes about queer relationships (e.g. “I’m the ‘Butch’ one in this relationship, so it’s normal for me to control how you act or dress” or “You should be submissive towards me because you are the feminine one.”)
And while media representations of queer people have improved greatly in recent years, it is still very rare to find a popular TV show or movie that accurately depicts abuse in an LGBTQIA relationship.
A hugely successful Netflix series that has many positive LGBTQIA representations is Sex Education. Yet, the usually progressive show had its main gay character, Eric (played by Ncuti Gatwa), fall in love with a boy at school, Adam, who has bullied him for years. Adam later shows regret for how he treated Eric previously, because he did not accept himself as gay, and Eric is openly and proudly gay.
In a survey of nearly 12,000 people, it was shown that positive LGBTQIA representation in the media and acceptance by celebrities is a top factor in improving and changing people’s perceptions of the LGBTQIA community for the better. However, the decision to have Eric and Adam become a couple in a show like Sex Education could result in its viewers, many of whom are likely young queer people, internalizing the belief that violence is a normal part of LGBTQIA relationships.
In conclusion, we need better and more realistic media depictions of abuse in LGBTQIA relationships to help increase awareness of LGBTQIA domestic abuse survivors in society, and for governments to offer more funding to increase the amount of support services for LGBTQIA people in mainstream and LGBTQIA charities, and education for the police on how to address LGBTQIA abuse victims, so that LGBTQIA people know that there are more places they can turn to for support when leaving an abusive relationship.
You can call Galop on 0800 999 5428 Monday–Thursday, 10 am to 8 pm, Friday 10 am to 4 pm, or email help@galop.org.uk at any time.
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