“Whenever I felt like I didn’t fit in and was living in a world that seemed alien to me, I used those complex emotions to fuel my creativity by writing”
BY SHALINA CASEY, IMAGES PROVIDED
AJ, a talented actor and award-winning screenwriter, seeks to connect with readers worldwide by exploring their deepest thoughts and feelings. Her main aim is to inspire people through a journey of self-discovery, reigniting their enthusiasm for life. In her newest book, The Best Death, Shalina offers a powerful story that will push readers beyond their limits.
I am a 47-year-old gay woman and a mum of two amazing children whom I conceived many years ago via a donor with my now ex-wife. This unconditional love and deep connection I have with them both, has helped me become a better version of myself. Even in the face of my own challenges with ADHD and autism, I have consistently endeavoured to present a facade of normalcy in my life. However, growing up, it seemed necessary to cultivate multiple personas to adapt to different social settings. It was as though I constantly viewed myself from an external perspective, grappling with a sense of identity confusion and uncertainty about my authentic self. That was tough.
Whenever I felt like I didn’t fit in and was living in a world that seemed alien to me, I used those complex emotions to fuel my creativity by writing. My self-confidence was practically non-existent, I wanted to hide what I perceived asweaknesses. This constant effort was draining and led to many instances of burnout. But eventually, I learnt to navigate through the challenges and fulfil a process of self-discovery. This journey was marked by sacrifices and heartbreak. I inadvertently hurt people as I struggled to effectively convey my thoughts and emotions. It seemed easier to be perceived as a “player” or an “ice queen” rather than someone vulnerable. I often felt like I was blagging my way through life, projecting an image of being smarter, and more confident than I truly felt inside. It became a survival strategy, a way to avoid being defeated by my insecurities. I refused to accept defeat; losing was never an option for me. Embracing being misunderstood is now a positive concept for me. If everyone understood me completely, I would feel uncomfortably exposed.
In spite of encountering further challenges in my life, such as overcoming academic hurdles – alongside emotional setbacks and repeated failures, after much determination, I finally managed to obtain several qualifications, including a master’s degree. I then worked many years as a teacher and senior leader in secondary education. The career path I had chosen failed to ignite the passion that was burning within me. As the desire to pursue something that truly made me feel alive intensified, I made the bold decision to follow my heart and pursue acting and writing. Leaving behind my career in education was a pivotal moment, and it turned out to be the best decision I ever made.
I am now joyfully marking the debut of my first published novel, The Best Death. My main goal for this book is to help others who suffer from mental health problems. I hope this book will change the way you see the world and ultimately, I would love to be able to inspire and help anyone who suffers with mental health conditions.
The Best Death is available now in bookstores, online and Amazon Kindle.angryeaglepublishing.com/home/authors/a-l/shalina-casey
DIVA magazine celebrates 30 years in print in 2024. If you like what we do, then get behind LGBTQIA media and keep us going for another generation. Your support is invaluable.
